Thursday, December 1, 2011

Simply Fuss Free's Guide to Every Top Albums of the Year List

December's here, which means that music critics are taking a break from discovering new music and sorting out what the last 11 months have yielded. Ever get tired of seeing nothing but the same albums in a slightly different order on every blog's end-of-the-year list? Fortunately, the science squad team here at Simply Fuss Free has cracked the formula behind the average annual list of top albums that you will read over and over again in 2011 and beyond. 
  • Album listed out of fear of losing indie cred
  • Album featuring a blatant amalgamation of the most popular of recent buzz band tropes 
  • Michael McDonald with a vocoder
  • Album ranked far too high
  • Mom-approved artist hyped by NPR
  • Cartoonish rapper
  • Yet another Pavement retread
  • Latest album from a still respected, but decreasingly interesting artist from the 90's
  • Indie rock heartthrob 
  • Album with that song from that commercial
  • Harmonies and beards
  • Post-dubstep album that infuriates fans when labeled as "post-dubstep" because any instance of "the d-word" now immediately conjures images of tweens jumping up and down to Skrillex
  • Album that blends synths and yelps to universal acclaim 
  • Sophomore slumper
  • Album ranked far too low
  • Album that was actually released last year
  • Album that was actually released this year but feels like last
  • Promising newcomer that will become a staple of lists such as these for the next 15 years
  • Promising newcomer that will crash and burn or fade into obscurity
  • The one album that appears on few other lists but this one
  • Album that infuriates the reader every time it's listed, which is always
  • Female solo artist patronizingly referred to as "quirky" in the media
  • Album ruined/improved by a singer that should not
  • Artist whose latest album is receiving the accolades a previous album should have earned, but inexplicably did not
  • Pop album that proves the writer is eclectic and not at all elitist

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