Simply Fuss Free

Last Minute Coachella Wishlisting

2012-01-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

The inevitable revelation the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival lineup became a matter of "sooner" rather than "later" on Wednesday, with an official confirmation of Azealia Banks. Following Azealia Banks' appearance on the festival's homepage were videos of AraabMuzik and Jimmy Cliff yesterday and today, respectively. Although an official release date for the lineup has yet to be announced, months of rumors, fan-made posters crafted with dubious levels of competence, and equally incompetent journalists spreading these fakes as gospel are expected to finally come to an end within the next couple weeks.

Because there has already been near-endless speculation for headliners, reunions, and the obvious critical darlings du jour, here are some videos of artists that have evaded rumor-mongering, but Simply Fuss Free would love to see featured as part of the big reveal.

Emmy the Great

What better way to continue the tradition of Coachella's Gobi tent showcasing female singer-songwriters from the UK than with a rare stateside appearance from Emmy the Great? On her latest album Virtue, Emma Lee-Moss' voice exudes vulnerability, but eviscerates lyrically, while the lush, church-evoking production and instrumentation paints a fairy tale-like setting for tales that run the gamut from heart-wrenching to tongue-in-cheek.

LA Font

Simply put, LA Font puts the rock back into indie rock. The Los Angeles-based quartet has struck a chord with tastemakers such as Buzzbands LA and Rawkblog is currently fundraising for their next album via Kickstarter.

Nisennenmondai

Hailing from Japan, Nisennenmondai recently embarked on a long-awaited proper American tour in support of Battles, showcasing their hypnotic and alarmingly danceable mastery of repetition that blends post-punk and Krautrock.Unfortunately, despite the presence of Battles at both the Treasure Island and Moog festivals, this instrumental trio was not part of either lineup. Hopefully Coachella will pick up the ball that others dropped and host the American festival debut of Nisennenmondai.

Eric Prydz

Some attendees practically live in the Sahara tent during the entire weekend of Coachella, while others occasionally get an itching for some dancing. Why not scratch that itch with a live production that is officially titled EPIC? Could the two-story light and hologram extravaganza be adapted for a festival stage? Here's hoping.

Summer Camp

You probably heard them in Tyler, the Creator's mix of the same name. Since then, Summer Camp has released their long-awaited, produced-by-Pulp's-Steve-Mackey full-length debut Welcome to Condale, which set a new standard for nostalgia in the world of indie synth pop.

Top Albums and Songs of 2011

2011-12-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

So, how was 2011? Incredible live gigs were witnessed. Indie legends Sonic Youth and R.E.M. called it quits, while legends-that-never-fully-got-their-due Pulp and Cibo Matto returned for brief reunion tours. Skrillex stripped dubstep of any grace or melody and unleashed a monstrous, kid-friendly corpse that inspired the flooding of YouTube with countless "dubstep remixes" of everything from Rebecca Black to the "You dun goofed!" guy. In terms of new music, seemingly everyone channeled r&b, chillwave became more of a tsunami, and the more grating the synth pop, the more crossover appeal it generated. In regards to the year's best albums, some didn't fit into the trends du jour or get the career-making "Best New Music" tag and were subsequently overlooked by most, and some were hyped to the point of ubiquity and have appeared on every other list. Nevertheless, these are the albums that were dearest to the heart of Simply Fuss Free in 2011

Albums:
40. Loney Dear - Hall Music

39. Son Lux - We Are Rising

38. Deerhoof - Deerhoof vs. Evil
37. Explosions in the Sky - Take Care, Take Care, Take Care

36. Raphael Saadiq - Stone Rollin'

35. Feist - Metals

34. Marissa Nadler - Marissa Nadler

33. Planningtorock - W
32. TV on the Radio - Nine Types of Light
31. Beirut - The Rip Tide
30. Neon Indian - Era Extraña
29. Bell - Diamonite
28. Le Corbeau - Moth on the Headlights
27. Mogwai - Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will
26. Thao & Mirah - Thao & Mirah
25. Rene Hell - The Terminal Symphony
24. Ladytron - Gravity the Seducer

23. Active Child - You Are All I See

22. Le Butcherettes - Sin Sin Sin

21. Delicate Steve - Wondervisions

20. Esben and the Witch - Violet Cries

19. Manorexia - Dinoflagellate Blooms
18. Braids - Native Speaker
17. Boris - Attention Please
16. Low - C'mon

15. Boris - New Album

14. Zola Jesus - Conatus

13. Cults - Cults

12. Yuck - Yuck

11. Summer Camp - Welcome to Condale

10. Atlas Sound - Parallax

9. PJ Harvey - Let England Shake

8. Lykke Li - Wounded Rhymes

7. Panda Bear - Tomboy
6. Asobi Seksu - Fluorescence

5. Radiohead - The King of Limbs

4. Emmy the Great - Virtue

3. Gang Gang Dance - Eye Contact

2. Little Dragon - Ritual Union
1. St. Vincent - Strange Mercy

Songs:
Simply Fuss Free's Top 20 Songs of 2011 Spotify Playlist
Honorable mention (not on Spotify):
Fever Ray - "The Wolf"
Manorexia - "Anabiosis"

Simply Fuss Free's Guide to Every Top Albums of the Year List

2011-12-01T11:55:00.000-08:00

December's here, which means that music critics are taking a break from discovering new music and sorting out what the last 11 months have yielded. Ever get tired of seeing nothing but the same albums in a slightly different order on every blog's end-of-the-year list? Fortunately, the science squad team here at Simply Fuss Free has cracked the formula behind the average annual list of top albums that you will read over and over again in 2011 and beyond.

Album listed out of fear of losing indie cred
Album featuring a blatant amalgamation of the most popular of recent buzz band tropes
Michael McDonald with a vocoder
Album ranked far too high
Mom-approved artist hyped by NPR
Cartoonish rapper
Yet another Pavement retread
Latest album from a still respected, but decreasingly interesting artist from the 90's
Indie rock heartthrob
Album with that song from that commercial
Harmonies and beards
Post-dubstep album that infuriates fans when labeled as "post-dubstep" because any instance of "the d-word" now immediately conjures images of tweens jumping up and down to Skrillex
Album that blends synths and yelps to universal acclaim
Sophomore slumper
Album ranked far too low
Album that was actually released last year
Album that was actually released this year but feels like last
Promising newcomer that will become a staple of lists such as these for the next 15 years
Promising newcomer that will crash and burn or fade into obscurity
The one album that appears on few other lists but this one
Album that infuriates the reader every time it's listed, which is always
Female solo artist patronizingly referred to as "quirky" in the media
Album ruined/improved by a singer that should not
Artist whose latest album is receiving the accolades a previous album should have earned, but inexplicably did not
Pop album that proves the writer is eclectic and not at all elitist

Top 20 Live Acts of 2011, Part Two

2011-11-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

If you missed numbers 20-11, check out part one before proceeding. How does one rank for a list such as this? For example, the artists that occupy numbers 9-12 were all equally impressive for completely different reasons. The answer lies a combination of factors including everything from emotional attachment to dramatic effect, with attempts at tacking the completely subjective with some degree of objectivity thrown in for good measure. And now that the secret behind lists like these has been revealed, on with the show.

10. Grinderman at Primavera Sound

As Grinderman, Nick Cave and company give rock some much needed sleaze and a brand of energy that simultaneously invigorates and violates the listener. Read more at CoS.

9. Emmy the Great at Pianos

When I saw that Emmy the Great was playing Pianos, the first American gig in three years, I immediately booked a hostel and dodgy overnight bus for a night in New York City. Virtue, the latest album from Emmy the Great, retains the deeply personal but relatable nature of its predecessor First Love while painting a picture of a fairy tale-like world and incorporating lush instrumentation and church-like choir sections. Their sonic experimentation on Virtue was not on display at this acoustic performance, but Emma-Lee Moss and Euan Hinshelwood don't need it to captivate a crowd.

Before closing an all too brief set with "Dinosaur Sex", Moss inquired about a couple that posted on Facebook that they flew into New York for this rare American appearance. They asked if that warranted a request, and it did, so they chose "Two Steps Forward", and she replied that she would grant it outside after the show. True to her word, she played the song on the sidewalk of Ludlow Street for the benefit of her most hardcore of fans from New York and beyond. The combination of "Two Steps Forward", one of her oldest and best songs, and the nature of its performance perfectly summed up both the unique charm and incredible songwriting that are at the core of Emmy the Great.

Before the show, I sat down with Emma-Lee Moss for an interview, which you can read at One Thirty BPM.

8. The Flaming Lips at Primavera Sound

Balloons. Confetti. Dozens of dancers. Pure psychedelia. Life-affirming. A bit too much chatter from Wayne Coyne. You've heard it all before, and you will again a hundred times more during your life, but everything you've heard about The Flaming Lips live is true. Read more at CoS.

7. Portishead at ATP Presents I'll Be Your Mirror

Whether it's a shiver from the unworldly howl in "Threads" or seduced by the sultry sounds of "Glory Box", it's impossible not to truly feel something at a Portishead show. It's a shame they so rarely tour because few bands replicate their studio sound with such precision. Read more at One Thirty BPM.

6. Nisennenmondai at Primavera Sound

After a long-overdue American tour in support of Battles, will Nisennenmondai remain Japan's best kept secret? Hopefully not, because their blend of both the Kraut and math varieties of rock is captivating and surprisingly danceable at times. At the 2011 edition of Primavera Sound, Nisennenmondai was the first band to officially perform and at the end of the weekend remained one of the best. Read more at CoS.

5. Asobi Seksu at Casbah and Troubadour

After officially celebrating my belated birthday with one of my favorite bands in my favorite Los Angeles venue, I had a very strange feeling. I felt incredibly high even though all I had consumed that evening was a burger and one beer. Spirits were raised to the point of giddiness, I wanted to hug the world, and even the lights looked brighter. On Fluorescence, Asobi Seksu pushed their richly textured sound into something uniquely theirs even further than ever, but a live setting is still where their ocean of noise versus soaring vocals dynamic truly shines. At San Diego's Casbah two nights later, the band gave their first gig since the devastating earthquake in Japan, and the feelings that come such a tragedy, such as worry over the unknown status of family members, were channeled into an especially intense, emotionally-charged performance. And the whole shoegaze thing? Not an appropriate label when the band in question unleashes rock star guitar god moves and headbangs along with such fervor.

4. Radiohead at Roseland Ballroom

If you're not a fan of The King of Limbs, fear not, because everything is better live to the point that a new appreciation is gained for the studio versions. Radiohead has not changed in that regard. Read a full review at Consequence of Sound.

3. Jeff Mangum at ATP Presents I'll Be Your Mirror and Paramount Theatre

The enigmatic-is-an-understatement Jeff Mangum opened his Friday set at I'll Be Your Mirror with "Oh Comely", and I'm not ashamed to say it actually moved me to tears, a concert first for me. When the emotional highs that come with witnessing Neutral Milk Hotel songs being performed live are taken out of consideration, Mangum is still a charming performer. None of the humility, awkward charm, and vocal quirks have dissipated during Mangum's years out of the spotlight. Three days later, he was joined by A Hawk and a Hacksaw, giving us a partial reunion, and actually played "Little Birds" for the second time ever. Read more at One Thirty BPM.

2. Sufjan Stevens at Primavera Sound

With confetti, balloons, choreographed dance routines, sensory overload courtesy of screen and scrim projections, chimp masks, both plastic and feathered wings, and spinning disco ball chest pieces all on the agenda, the Sufjan Stevens live experience was most elaborate spectacle this side of The Wall. The half-hour rendition of "Impossible Soul" redefined "sprawling epic" as it contained as many emotional highs and stage-rushing singalongs as the average three day festival. Read more at CoS.

1. Pulp at Primavera Sound

Most reunions are a satisfying trip down memory lane where favorite songs are finally experienced live from a band in need of a paycheck. What elevated Pulp far and above the average reunion is both the urgency with which they played and how their music is more timeless and less aged than that of the other bands from the Britpop era. In fact, Pulp unintentionally provided the soundtrack to a doomed Catalan revolution. The big Primavera Sound comeback was the first time for most in attendance, and judging by the unrestrained crowd response, yes, it will be remembered. Read a full report at CoS.

Top 20 Live Acts of 2011, Part One

2011-11-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

Seeing bands live is my favorite thing in the world to do. Unfortunately, I have not been able to attend nearly as many shows as I would have liked this year, missing live favorites such as Little Dragon, St. Vincent, and that ball-dropping Arcade Fire Coachella set. Nevertheless, my 2011 gig history includes two stellar festivals and some rare treats, and in any case, Simply Fuss Free is back in business.

Full reviews of Primavera Sound and the Asbury Park edition of I'll Be Your Mirror are available at Consequence of Sound and One Thirty BPM, respectively.

20. Braids at Casbah

Sorry, no photos or video available.

Opening for Asobi Seksu is no easy task, as anyone attempting their own style of deafening noise delivered with raucous energy is going to be woefully overshadowed. Fortunately for the full and rowdy Friday night crowd at San Diego's Casbah, Braids offered something completely different. While cloaked in near-total darkness, the Montreal quartet increasingly built tension with their neo-psychedelics and delivered a set of multi-layered vocals that swapped typical harmonies for cacophony. It's a mature, albeit familiar, sound, but one enhanced by a youthful exuberance.

19. Four Tet & Rocketnumbernine at Roseland Ballroom

My memories of Four Tet & Rocketnumbernine at Roseland Ballroom are hazy thanks to being preceded by a sleepless overnight bus ride to New York and a day of queuing, and followed by Radiohead. What I do remember is declaring to Cheep and Snail that it was the best opening set I had ever seen at a Radiohead gig (excluding festival appearances), which is saying a lot considering how many times I've seen the band (ten non-festival performances).

18. Manorexia at ATP Presents I'll Be Your Mirror

Out of all the intriguing projects of J.G. Thirlwell, I have a new favorite after witnessing the lush and menacing sounds of Manorexia at I'll Be Your Mirror. Read more at One Thirty BPM.

17. Mogwai at Primavera Sound

Everything you've ever read about Mogwai's mastery of extended periods of calm that build intensity before climaxing with a thunderous storm is true, and they are still instrumental rock at its finest.

16. Warpaint at Primavera Sound

It's hard to beat witnessing Warpaint's fuzzed-out harmonies and transcendent dream pop style while enveloped by a cool Mediterranean breeze. Read more at CoS.

15. PJ Harvey Primavera Sound

While PJ Harvey was spot-on at replicating the delicate beauty of Let England Shake, a main stage festival environment was the wrong one. Read more at CoS.

14. Chilly Gonzales at Skybar

As if it weren't captivating enough just to listen to Gonzales sing, talk, and rap on the piano, he was joined by special guests Peaches and Leslie Feist. What can top Peaches serenading Feist on a cover of Tina Turner's "Tiny Dancer?" How about Feist closing the set with a cover of Tweet's "Oops (Oh My)" before getting baptized in the pool by Peaches. Priceless surreality for free.

13. Lykke Li at Skybar

With her undeniable star quality, cover girl looks, and creatively crafted pop gems, it's no surprise that Lykke Li has been storming down the path from "next big thing" to "icon." The full Lykke Li live show takes advantage of the mesmeric potential provided by the accompaniment of robes, strobes, and fog, but at this intimate poolside performance her presence and intensity were more than enough to enthrall the crowd. Check out a full review at Consequence of Sound.

12. Gang Gang Dance at Music Hall of Williamsburg and Primavera Sound

Gang Gang Dance really lets their freak flag, and I mean that literally. One person dances and waves a translucent flag throughout the set. The live Gang Gang Dance experience also features extended jams of their brand of propulsive synths, vocal yelps, tribal rhythms, and at their own shows, trippy projections. One does not need to consume psychedelics to "trip balls" at Gang Gang Dance. Read more at CoS.

11. Swans at ATP Presents I'll Be Your Mirror

Honestly, any band can be loud if they try. But unleashing a storm of primal chaos as hypnotic as it was wicked that threatened to level Asbury Park's Paramount Theatre? Swans are one of a kind. Read more at One Thirty BPM.

Make a Pledge for Emmy the Great's New Album and Get Cool Swag

2010-08-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

So Emmy the Great, one of my favourite artists from the past few years, is about to record a follow-up to 2009's stellar First Love. Studio and producer time is expensive, especially for independent musicians, so fans now have the opportunity to guarantee the release of a new album and to relieve any guilt that came from downloading First Love instead of buying it. Plus, you are rewarded for your pledges with rather interesting gifts. Autographed album for £12? Watch a rehearsal gig for the next tour for £50? Hang out with Emmy backstage at Bestival and interview artists for WaterAid (all money for this particular pledge goes to WaterAid) for £150? Songwriting workshop for £100? And did I mention that a portion of all proceeds go to charity? For some items, such as the aforementioned Bestival hookup, all money goes to a charity. Support worthy charitable causes and help fund a new Emmy the Great album? What are you waiting for?

Click here to pledge to Emmy the Great

If I can't convince you, maybe this charming video will:

In Case You Missed It: Another "Cymbal Rush"

2010-07-16T17:14:00.000-07:00

So last month at the 40th anniversary edition of Glastonbury, Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood performed a secret set for the massive crowd of fans that found the rumors too compelling to ignore. During the nine-song set, the breathtaking and apparently versatile "Cymbal Rush" from Yorke's The Eraser was given yet another live interpretation. When performed at the Radiohead gigs in 2008, Thom Yorke took the stage alone at the piano. While not as different as Atoms for Peace's funky, tribal performance of the song, this new take benefits from Greenwood's French Connection, giving the already spell-binding song an added layer of eeriness.

So what's your favourite?

Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood at Glastonbury:

Atoms for Peace in Boston:

Thom Yorke (minus the rest of Radiohead) at the Santa Barbara Bowl in 2008:

So I Went to Glastonbury 2010

2010-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

Last year I went to Glastonbury and loved it so much, despite the overwhelming nature of the fest, the weather, and the toll it all takes on the mind and body, that I just had to return this year. Read my formal review of Glastonbury 2010 here. For a recap, here is a far-more detailed account of last year's adventure.

How did they compare? Sadly, I got sick by Wednesday night due to the stress involved with getting there and setting up, plus breathing in all that dust, and those extreme drops in temperature between day and night. Yes, I had to go to the onsite emergency room and was prescribed antibiotics for my chest and sinus infection. I only got to have one cider the entire time. Life isn't fair.

But besides this, it was the best Glastonbury yet. The Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood performance and the Jarvis Cocker DJ set elevated a great lineup to the level of amazing, the artwork was better than ever, the weekend was full of Glastonbury moments that will be remembered for years, and the boiling heat and impenetrable cloud of dust gave us all a newfound appreciation for the rain and mud of previous years.

Some more photos:

Brothers Cider!

Massive crowd for England vs Slovenia

Sunset at Stone Circle is nice.

Subtle?

Deliciousness!

Every kind of craft imaginable is available at Glastonbury, and then some.

Best thing ever.

Our Father who art in Dublin, Bono be thy name...

A replica of Stonehenge made out of glowing cubes of light. This was a performance space, too.

The Rabbit Hole, an Alice in Wonderland-themed tent with "secret" tunnels that lead to all sorts of other places and venues, even a cinema. Sadly, I did not discover them all, but I got to see Jarvis Cocker dj here. Only at Glastonbury!

Scrapping plans to see Florence + the Machine, get a good dinner, and stake out a spot for Gorillaz in order to see if the Thom Yorke secret set rumours were true was the best decision ever. Jonny Greenwood was there, too!

Arcadia's amazing laser-firing, flame-spewing mega-stage monstrosity.

Dog-Faced Geisha Bar, and a bunch of tentacle-themed cartoons. Only at Glastonbury...and Japan.

Glastonbury has a Spiegeltent, and like everything else at the festival, it's a bar.

Snap!

Drum Machine. Very fun. If you did a good job playing it, it would say "the machine is happy" and you could hear every little thing you did, even with several others also doing their own thing at the same time. The best art is of the interactive variety.

Say no to crack.

Sunrise at Stone(d) Circle, aka the laughing gas capital of the world.

My Complete Gig History (As of June 2010)

2010-06-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

?/?/1988 Tiffany Busch Gardens
2/21/1996 Bush, Goo Goo Dolls, No Doubt Hampton Coliseum
7/7/1996 Smashing Pumpkins, Garbage Hampton Coliseum
?/?/1996 Lisa Loeb, ?? Tides Stadium
?/?/1997 Steve Miller Band, Pat Benatar GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
7/3/1997 Tina Turner, Cyndi Lauper GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
9/26/1997 Sheryl Crow GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
10/5/1997 Live, Luscious Jackson GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
11/9/1997 Green Day, Superdrag The Boathouse
9/29/2001 Tool GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
5/1/2002 Garbage, Abandoned Pools The Norva
6/13/2002 Melissa Etheridge, Rosey GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
7/25/2002 Moby, Dirty Vegas, Azure Ray Ntelos Pavillion
8/3/2002 Barry Manilow, Curtis Stigers PNC Bank Arts Center
8/10/2002 Coldplay 9:30 Club
8/15/2002 Sheryl Crow, Train GTE Virginia Beach Amphitheater
11/1/2002 The Strokes Greek Theatre
6/2/2003 Coldplay Hollywood Bowl
9/10/2003 R.E.M., Wilco Hollywood Bowl
9/22/2003 The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Soledad Brothers Greek Theatre
9/25/2003 Radiohead, Supergrass Hollywood Bowl
9/26/2003 Radiohead, Supergrass Hollywood Bowl
1/14/2004 Ima Robot UCLA Westwood Plaza
3/13/2004 Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Entrance, Beehive & the Barracudas Henry Fonda Theatre
4/7/2004 A Perfect Circle, The Mars Volta Long Beach Arena
4/30/2004 Radiohead, Pixies, Sparta, Beck, Q and not U, The Stills, Howie Day, Section Quartet Coachella
9/23/2004 Pixies, the Thrills Greek Theatre
10/22/2004 Bob Dylan Cox Arena
10/27/2004 Interpol, Secret Machines Wiltern
11/12/2004 Morrissey, Nancy Sinatra Universal Amphitheater
12/8/2004 Muse, The Exit, Evening Wiltern
12/9/2005 Muse, The Exit, Evening Wiltern
1/15/2005 Arcade Fire, Final Fantasy, Tycho B Troubadour
1/16/2005 Arcade Fire, Final Fantasy, Tycho B (late show) Troubadour
2/5/2005 Beck, Har Mar Superstar Club 1650
3/6/2005 Xiu Xiu, Division Day UCLA
3/11/2005 Coldplay Troubadour
4/15/2005 Q & Not U, Food for Animals, Manhunter Troubadour
4/30/2005 Coldplay, Bauhaus, Weezer, Wilco, Rilo Kiley, The Kills, M83, The Raveonettes, Boom Bip, The Sexy Magazines Coachella 2005
5/1/2005 Black Star, Bright Eyes, The Prodigy, The Faint, Nine Inch Nails, The Dresden Dolls, Arcade Fire, Fiery Furnaces, Jem, Autolux Coachella 2005
5/13/2005 The Walkmen, Tod Barry Ackerman Grand Ballroom
5/26/2005 Christopher O'Riley Royce Hall
6/2/2005 Pixies, Bellrays Wiltern
6/26/2005 David Byrne, Arcade Fire, Si*se Hollywood Bowl
7/22/2005 Beck, Le Tigre, TV Sheriff Universal Amphitheater
7/23/2005 Beck, The Decemberists, TV Sheriff Universal Amphitheater
8/11/2005 Sigur Ros, Amiina Avalon
8/20/2005 Xiu Xiu, Nedelle, Scout Niblett, Das Yellow Swans Troubadour
8/22/2005 Eisley, Richard Swift Troubadour
8/27/2005 John Cale, The Walkmen Sunset Junction
3/23/2006 Metric, Islands, End of Fashion Henry Fonda Theatre
4/29/2006 Daft Punk, Depeche Mode, Franz Ferdinand, Sigur Ros, Kanye West, Deerhoof, Lady Sovereign, Section Quartet Coachella 2006
4/30/2006 Tool, Massive Attack, Madonna, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Gnarls Barkley, Bloc Party, Metric, The Dears, Giant Drag Coachella 2006
6/26/2006 Radiohead, Deerhoof Bayside at Embarcadero
6/27/2006 Radiohead, Deerhoof Bayside at Embarcadero
6/29/2006 Radiohead Greek Theatre
7/19/2006 Muse, The Cloud Room Greek Theatre
8/16/2006 Mates of State Amoeba Music
9/22/2006 TV on the Radio Amoeba Music
10/7/2006 Queens of the Stone Age, !!!, Beck, Basement Jaxx, Weird Science, Blonde Redhead, Of Montreal, Blackalicious Detour Festival
10/10/2006 The Dresden Dolls, The Red Paintings, sxip shirley Orpheum Theatre
4/10/2007 Muse The Forum
4/27/2007 Bjork, Interpol, Jarvis Cocker, Peaches, Stephen Marley, Of Montreal, Comedians of Comedy Coachella 2007
4/28/2007 Red Hot Chili Peppers, LCD Soundsystem, Blonde Redhead, Arcade Fire, The Decemberists, Travis, The New Pornographers, Hot Chip Coachella 2007
4/29/2007 Rage Against the Machine, Air, Placebo, CSS, Junior Boys, Explosions in the Sky, Grizzly Bear Coachella 2007
5/30/2007 Arcade Fire, Electrelane Greek Theatre
6/10/2007 CSS, Busdriver Henry Fonda Theatre
7/9/2007 Morrissey, Kristeen Young The Norva
9/21/2007 Blonde Redhead, School of Seven Bells The Norva
10/14/2007 Cat Power, Dexter Romweber Duo The Norva
4/25/2008 Fatboy Slim, The Verve, Aphex Twin, Goldfrapp, Mum, The Breeders, Dan Deacon, Battles Coachella 2008
4/26/2008 Prince, Portishead, Kraftwerk, Death Cab for Cutie, St. Vincent, Uffie, The Bird & the Bee Coachella 2008
4/27/2008 Roger Waters, Love & Rockets, Metric, Gogol Bordello, Stars, Holy Fuck Coachella 2008
5/5/2008 Radiohead, Liars Cruzan Amphitheater
5/6/2008 Radiohead Ford Amphitheater
5/21/2008 The Dresden Dolls, Margaret Cho, Lavender Diamond, Smoosh Wiltern
6/17/2008 Islands, AWOL One, Crayonsmith El Rey
7/12/2008 Supergrass, The Morning Benders Avalon
7/20/2008 Feist, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Pacifika Hollywood Bowl
8/4/2008 Amanda Palmer, Vermillion Lies Troubadour
8/24/2008 Radiohead, Liars Hollywood Bowl
8/25/2008 Radiohead, Liars Hollywood Bowl
8/28/2008 Radiohead, Liars Santa Barbara Bowl
9/9/2008 Mogwai, Fuck Buttons Wiltern
9/22/2008 CSS, Tilly and the Wall, Ssion Mayan
10/1/2008 Sigur Ros, Parachutes Copley Symphony Hall
10/2/2008 My Bloody Valentine, Gemma Hayes, Spectrum Santa Monica Civic
10/31/2008 Asobi Seksu, Love Grenades Echo
12/13/2008 The Cure Troubadour
4/16/2009 My Bloody Valentine, Kurt Heasley El Rey
4/17/2009 Paul McCartney, Morrissey, Leonard Cohen, Conor Oberst & the Mystic Valley Band, Los Campesinos! Coachella 2009
4/18/2009 MSTRKRFT, The Chemical Brothers, Glass Candy, M.I.A., Thievery Corporation, Fleet Foxes, TV on the Radio, Amanda Palmer, Liars, Ida Maria Coachella 2009
4/19/2009 Etienne de Crecy, The Cure, Public Enemy, My Bloody Valentine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Peter Bjorn & John, Lykke Li, Okkervil River, No Age Coachella 2009
4/26/2009 The Faint, Figo, Ladytron Henry Fonda Theatre
5/2/2009 Yann Tiersen, Asobi Seksu El Rey
5/16/2009 Giant Drag, Shakey Graves, the Icarus Line, Johnny Sculls Troubadour
5/28/2009 St. Vincent, Pattern Is Movement El Rey
5/29/2009 Animal Collective, Grouper Wiltern
6/8/2009 Metric, Sebastien Grainger, Band of Skulls Wiltern
6/16/2009 Jarvis Cocker, The Horrors Brighton Dome
6/17/2009 Jarvis Cocker, The Horrors Troxy
6/26/2009 Neil Young, The Specials, Lily Allen, Fleet Foxes, N.E.R.D. Glastonbury 2009
6/27/2009 Bruce Springsteen, Emmy the Great, Broken Records, Fyfe Dangerfield, Peggy Sue & the Pirates, Metric, Peter Bjorn & John, Broken Family Band Glastonbury 2009
6/28/2009 Blur, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Bat for Lashes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Enter Shikari, Emmy the Great, Twisted Wheel, We Have Band, Wave Machines Glastonbury 2009
7/2/2009 Blur, Foals, Crystal Castles, Golden Silvers, Hypnotic Brass Ensemble Hyde Park
7/27/2009 Jarvis Cocker, Little Joy Wiltern
8/21/2009 Los Campesinos!, Girls, Ramona Falls El Rey
8/31/2009 Bat for Lashes, Other Lives Henry Fonda Theatre
9/5/2009 Glass Candy, No Age, Fucked Up, Darker My Love Save Our State Parks
10/24/2009 The Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt!, Javelin, We Have Band, Dan Black, We Are Wolves, Spleen United Santo's Party House
10/25/2009 Exit Clov, Horse's Mouth, The Havens The Bell House
10/31/2009 Dirty Projectors, Little Wings Jensen Rec Center
1/29/2010 St. Vincent (with David Byrne, Justin Vernon, Bryce Dessner) The Allen Room
1/30/2010 Asobi Seksu, The Tales, Ann Driscoll Café 939
4/5/2010 Atoms for Peace, Flying Lotus Roseland Ballroom
4/6/2010 Atoms for Peace, Flying Lotus Roseland Ballroom
4/16/2010 Fever Ray, Little Dragon, Grizzly Bear, Lucero, She & Him, Sleigh Bells, DJ Lance Rock Coachella 2010
4/17/2010 Devo, Muse, Faith No More, The XX, Beach House, John Waters Coachella 2010
4/18/2010 Gorillaz, Atoms for Peace, Orbital, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Florence & the Machine, Deerhunter, Owen Pallett Coachella 2010

Who Could Replace U2 at Glastonbury?

2010-05-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

According to official sources, Bono just had emergency back surgery, putting the upcoming U2 tour in jeopardy, most notably their headlining performance at the Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts. While rescheduling other tour dates is sure to be a logistical nightmare with baseball and football in the equation, Glastonbury only happens one weekend a year, with a fallow year every five years or so, so it doesn't have that luxury. Back surgery is a serious procedure, and with the performance less than five weeks away, will there be enough time to make a full recovery? Playing Glastonbury is important to the band and Bono will want to give it his best, so if there's a significant chance he won't have fully recovered and rehabilitated by then, cancellation seems likely. Official word either way is expected next week.

If U2 does have to cancel, what act would fill in for them? Specifically, what artist is both able and willing?

Pulp
Why? Would be the best thing to ever happen.
Why not? Still not reunited.

The Libertines
Why? Pete Doherty is a Glasto favourite.
Why not? Exclusive to Reading/Leeds.

David Bowie
Why? Previously rumored, everybody wants to see Bowie.
Why not? Hasn't played live in over five years, isn't going to start now.

Rolling Stones
Why? Previously rumored, have never played, superstars.
Why not? Still not on tour.

Paul McCartney
Why? No gig scheduled that day.
Why not? A performance at Millennium Stadium on Saturday and Hard Rock Calling on Sunday would mean three shows in three days, something acts of that caliber don't do.

Pearl Jam
Why? Popular, never played.
Why not? Playing Hard Rock Calling that night.

Jay-Z
Why? Silenced naysayers when he headlined in 2008.
Why not? Too soon for a return.

The Prodigy
Why? Touring but currently no gig on that day.
Why not? Played last year.

Arcade Fire
Why? Popularity went through the roof thanks to phenomenal live shows, just like U2 in the 80's.
Why not? Glasto would be their first live show in ages, plus they already sold out to Reading/Leeds exclusivity.

Prince
Why? Headlining Roskilde the following weekend, legend, has never played Glastonbury, would be as impressive of a booking as U2.
Why not? Famously difficult to book, and would he agree to being broadcast on the BBC?

Lady Gaga
Why? No performances scheduled that weekend, no issues with exclusivity at any competing festivals.
Why not? Performed in 2009 and already received an incomprehensible amount of media attention over it.

Beyonce
Why? Was rumored late last year, beloved pop star, husband famously headlined in 2008.
Why not? Would be a controversial choice even under normal circumstances.

Gorillaz
Why? No gigs scheduled that weekend, Mos Def and Snoop Dogg will already be playing.
Why not? Damon Albarn headlining two years in a row?

Radiohead
Why? The other major contender for best live act in the world. Their previous headlining sets were pure magic.
Why not? Recording next album.

Atoms for Peace
Why? Atoms for Peace have yet to appear in Europe.
Why not? Despite their popularity, they aren't billed as a headliner at other fests. Thom might be too busy recording at the time.

The Chemical Brothers
Why? Strongly rumored for months, still rumored despite a debunk from Emily Eavis, still tweeting about being at Glastonbury, only to delete them. A live show with a full production on the Pyramid is a proven crowd-pleaser.
Why not? Already an excess of big electronic acts closing out their respective stages on Friday night.

Coldplay
Why? Were rumored for a secret set in 2009, then were rumored to open the fest in 2010. While neither of these rumors panned out, maybe there was something to them. Michael Eavis recently said they might play next year. Chris Martin is a noted U2 fan.
Why not? Not currently touring, although it wouldn't take long for them to get ready for another show.

Kings of Leon
Why? Playing Hyde Park the following week, no gigs scheduled during Glasto.
Why not? Too soon, V Festival two months later may or may not be a factor.

Rolf Harris
Why? Hugely popular among Glastonbury punters, so much that police had to block off the dangerously overcrowded Jazzworld area during his set last year.
Why not? Will an early-in-the-day nostalgic novelty work as well at the end of the night?

Dizzee Rascal
Why? Even more popular than when he performed last year, and it would not be the first time a pre-headling act on the rise gets promoted to headliner (Pulp filling in for Stone Roses in 1995).
Why not? Major difference in popularity between Dizzee Rascal and U2.

The Flaming Lips
Why? The Flaming Lips live show is made for festivals, and the Other Stage headliner (Basement Jaxx) filled in when Kylie Minogue had to cancel in 2005.
Why not? Also a significant difference in popularity between them and U2.

Recent album reviews

2010-05-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've reviewed some albums recently, including an underrated gem from 2001, so keep reading and enjoy listening.

Pulp - We Love Life

Booka Shade - More!

Stereophonics - Keep Calm and Carry On

Karen Elson - The Ghost Who Walks

Original content will return to Simply Fuss Free sometime this weekend. It will be worth the wait, I promise.

Thom Yorke's Atoms for Peace - 4/5 Roseland Ballroom

2010-04-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

I recently had the great fortune of seeing Atoms for Peace with Flying Lotus in New York. Read all about it here.

Videos of "The Daily Mail", untitled new song, "Harrowdown Hill", "And It Rained All Night", and the aftermath of the explosion coming in 720p whenever youtube stops failing out all my upload attempts even though they go up to 100% and sit at "processing" for hours and hours every time.

The History of Onsite Camping at Coachella

2010-03-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

When onsite camping was introduced in 2003, the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival cemented its status as America's premier destination music festival. Prior to 2003, limited offsite lodging in the surrounding area meant fewer people could feasibly travel for the festival. With onsite camping, not only did thousands more visitors have an affordable place to stay, but also the foundation was set for the growth of the festival itself. For many, the labor involved with setting up and taking down one's camping gear makes attending only one day a bit of a waste, and with thousands of people coming from out of town and spending the entire weekend at the Empire Polo Club, logic dictates that camping was instrumental in Coachella becoming a three-day festival.

While onsite camping has always been cleaner and more comfortable than its European influences like Glastonbury, with its shower trailers and well-maintained portable toilets, it has evolved over the years just as the festival itself. The campgrounds were originally located across the street from the festival site in the lot south of the giant white structure that first-timers often mistake for the Sahara tent when driving down Monroe Street. Thanks to a legendary lineup featuring Radiohead, Kraftwerk, and the first announced Pixies reunion show, demand for camping drastically increased in 2004 as thousands more came from all over the world for this shining moment in live music history, and once the ticket supply for this "Camping Lot A" depleted, a second lot was added that also sold out before the big weekend arrived.

The inflatable movie screen made its debut in 2005.

Onsite bar with karaoke on Thursday nights and breakfast in the mornings.

Now that Coachella had become a household name, camping moved to one large lot directly adjacent to the festival grounds in 2005. Onsite camping in 2005 featured the introduction of an inflatable movie screen, a karaoke bar, and free raffle prizes. While the convenience of not having to commute in the morning traffic was enough to entice many to arrive the night before, these bonuses served as special rewards for arriving early. Most people still drove to the festival every day, so having a significant number of people off the road helped ease traffic.

Coachellians dancing along to the beat of butchered classics.

Camping remained mostly the same in 2006, with the notable exception of an internet lounge sponsored by Dodge. This lounge featured computers available for free internet access, wi-fi, XBox 360 gaming, and lockers for securing laptops and other valuables during the weekend. Free internet returned in 2007 and has remained ever since, just in a different location, without the Dodge sponsorship, and now with outlets for cell phone charging.

The first internet lounge in 2006.

Although several new additions became part of the camping experience in 2008, the only one that returned in subsequent years was the availability of onsite lodging. Accommodations in onsite lodging were in safari tents and included amenities such as beds, air conditioning, golf cart rides to the festival, and backstage access. Lodgings were also available in pre-pitched regular tents that came with the usual sleeping bags and pillows. The tents are no longer pre-pitched in 2010, but still offer a viable alternative to checking a lot of luggage when flying to Coachella. Onsite camping in 2008 also featured Laserium, a laser show set to the music of Pink Floyd, and Coachella Express, a free train ride from downtown Los Angeles to Indio.

On Coachella Express, traveling in style was redefined as attendees drank Corona's and danced in the aisles to live DJ's like Junkie XL, made new friends and hookups, cheered when passing the iconic desert windmills, received free shirts, ice cream, and VIP upgrades, and were greeted at the temporary Amtrak station with shuttles transporting them directly to the campgrounds, where their gear was already waiting for them. Unfortunately, Coachella Express proved to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Even with a midnight curfew, the party never truly stops festivals like Coachella, Glastonbury, and Bonnaroo and in 2009, this phenomenon was enforced by the addition of a special dome featuring late-night sets by acts such as Flying Lotus for everyone camping onsite. Late-night sets will return this year, and it is currently unannounced if the "Pavillion at the Heart of the Coachella Campgrounds" will be the same dome and location as in 2009, and no acts seem to be playing on Thursday night this time.

The 2010 latenight sets.

Left to their own devices, even the Coachella attendees have evolved over the years. Fans of acts like Radiohead, Arcade Fire, and Depeche Mode have organized unofficial sub-camps, and other large camping groups that have formed over the years on the Coachella messageboard include "Party All Weekend" and "Camping All Alone/Solo at the Polo." In addition to camping groups, Coachella fans have proven their creativity and sense of adventure by taking it upon themselves to put on parades, spontaneous all-night singalongs, live music, and even slip-and-slides.

A small drum circle rapidly expanded to a mob of hundreds singing and partying all night.

Onsite camping at Coachella is about to experience its biggest change yet in the form of car camping. Eight thousand vehicles will be able to camp onsite, with no limit to the number of people per vehicle, and these $55 tickets sold out last week and have been scalped for over $800 on ebay. The car camping announcement of car pleased many, as hauling loads of camping gear across the fields is now thing of the past, and now several people can share a camping ticket and save money. Additionally, cars make it easier to lock away valuables during the day. However, some have been less than enthusiastic, primarily due to the new restriction on driving in and out of Coachella throughout the weekend and not being able to save a car camping spot for a friend arriving later. To help address these concerns, a companion parking lot with limited space will be available for campers meeting up with friends that arrived before them.

Besides the major fundamental changes, the added bonuses to the camping experience will be better than ever this year. A roller skating rink would be available to campers in what must be a first not just for Coachella but any festival. Keeping in line with this new retro theme, a pinball tournament with prizes will also be at the campgrounds at night. Festival goers will now have more outlets for their creativity besides elaborate camp setups and activities with the Coachella Art Studio, offering a wide variety of crafts ranging from wood shop to mushroom and zine creation.

Although details such as cost and hours are forthcoming, a shuttle to the nearby Ralphs will be available to campers for the first time this year. This shuttle to the local supermarket, with Mexican and Italian restaurants in the same shopping center, seems to be a response to concerns over not being able to leave the campgrounds until the festival is over. Even without a shuttle, campers will have a local farmers market onsite for the first time, in addition to the numerous food vendors people have come to expect over the years. After all, as Goldenvoice continues to find ways to evolve and innovate with Coachella, even in camping, what else can people truly expect year after year besides quality service and the formation of the fondest of memories?

Camping Trivia:

Instead of traditional event security, campers were searched upon checking into the grounds by local police in 2004.
Camping passes sold out in 2004, 2006, 2007, and 2010.
Safari tents were available for rental beginning in 2008.
Ready-to-go packages featuring tents, sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets were introduced in 2008.
The official Coachella site listed a surprise performer as being one of the bonuses for early bird campers in 2005, but was removed from the site a couple weeks before the festival. For whatever unstated reason, it didn't happen, and the most prevalent rumors were Beck and Queens of the Stone Age.
Raffle prizes have included VIP upgrades, camping ticket refunds, CD's, and a meet and greet with Depeche Mode.
The campgrounds are close enough for soundchecks to be fairly audible, and campers have been treated to hearing some music from acts like Portishead, Kraftwerk, Prince, Paul McCartney, and Rage Against the Machine before everyone else.
What movies were on the inflatable screen? Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in 2005, Coachella in 2006, and The Song Remains the Same in 2007.
It was originally listed on the official site in 2004 that campers were to be assigned to specific spots of 50 square feet after signing in and leaving their name and contact information, but this did not happen until 2005. In 2007, the sign-in process was eliminated and camp counselors directed people to whichever spots were available in the areas being filled at that time.
Campers have had a separate entrance since the beginning. However, in 2005 and 2006, most people did not seem to know where it was, since the closest entrance to the campgrounds was actually the main entrance for everyone else. The camping and VIP entrance was past the trailers for will call tickets, and veterans from 2003-04 knew where to find it. In 2007, the camping entrance became incorporated with the campsite itself.
The price of camping in 2004? $25, plus surcharges.

Can We Please Have a Moratorium on New Hallelujah Covers

2010-02-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

See that? Great, huh? Well, unless you're John Cale, Jeff Buckley, or Rufus Wainwright, you're probably going to ruin the song, so leave it alone.

How far as a society have we fallen to go from this...

to this...

An Open Letter to All Musicians: Stop Covering Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

Can I get an amen? Or perhaps a hallelujah? Just not another unnecessary cover.

Interview with Asobi Seksu's Yuki Chikudate and James Hanna

2010-02-09T23:52:00.000-08:00

When Asobi Seksu turned away from swirling guitar noise for a gentler, dreamier sound with 2009's Hush, they still maintained an expertise at crafting richly layered and textured soundscapes. With the acoustic album Rewolf, Asobi Seksu continue to defy shoegaze-pigeonholing and reveal that underneath the layers lie melodies that are strong enough to stand out on their own on these stripped-down reinventions. During their recent acoustic tour, vocalist and simultaneous player of the glockenspiel and toy piano Yuki Chikudate, and guitarist James Hanna sat down to chat about what to expect from their next album, Dumpster diving, and even their Spinal Tap moment.

What inspired the decision to record Rewolf?
Yuki Chikudate: Well, we were reluctant, but our label guy in the UK, Derrick Birkett of One Little Indian, it was his brainchild, it was his baby; he really wanted us to do it and we're really glad that he, you know, encouraged us to do it and set it up and he booked us up at Olympic Studios in London..
James Hanna: One day on our day off during the UK tour.
Yuki: Yeah, on our day off.
James: With Ladytron.
Yuki: Yeah it was the Ladytron tour, that's true. And it was just really great. I'm glad that he had that idea because then Olympic Studios closed right after we went in there, so it ended up being a pretty special day, so that was why Rewolf was made and why we're on this acoustic tour.

So what are you listening to while on the road for this tour?
Yuki: Silence.
James: We've had silence and we can't find our thing to hook up the iPod to the car. I left it in California, so we've had a lot of silence.
Yuki: Did you really forget it?
James: I don't know. Or maybe I threw it in a bag.
Yuki: I mean, this is coming from a person who dropped...he thought he lost his keys to the car and was convinced that he'd thrown it in a Dumpster. So he's about to climb in the Dumpster and jump in. Okay, we're like "before you do that, let's look a little bit more because that is a decision that is going to affect all of us." (laughs)
James: I wasn't going to go in the Dumpster.
Yuki: I know.
James: I was peering over the edge...
Yuki: Oh, okay. Well, we were scared that maybe you were going to go in.
James: Just because we had a flight and it was like three o'clock in the morning, that was the only reason I was considering the Dumpster. I don't know, we've really been listening to regular stuff. We did Pet Sounds in the car; we listened to the whole thing.
Yuki: Really? Was I asleep?
James: You were asleep. We listened to real classic stuff. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass all the way through.
Yuki: Really, where was I?
James: Just conked out.
Yuki: I love that album. I missed out, apparently. Okay, when we were home for four days I listened to a lot of Shugo Tokumaru, which is great, I love that album [Exit]...yeah, the first song "Parachute", it makes me so happy, it's great. And Snapper. We listened to a lot of Snapper for a while. And you were listing to a lot of Dead Sea.
James: I was listening to a lot of Dead Sea.
Yuki: Yeah, all right. And Larry [Gorman] listens to a lot of everything, our drummer, he just...
James: A little big on Joe Jackson recently.
Yuki: (laughs) That's true, that's true. And Billy [Pavone] has been listening to a lot of Air.
James: He always listens to Air.
Yuki: Always.
James: Air and Grizzly Bear.
Yuki: I mean, I love Air, I do, and I love Grizzly Bear, but...
James: He's killing it for us.
Yuki: He's killing it. He's got to move onto something else.

Nowadays, more and more people are downloading music for free and record sales are plummeting every year, but your recent fundraiser on Kickstarter was a success. What is your take on this apparent contradiction?
James: I don't know, I think it's a really cool model. I mean, we need to find...we need to find a new way, a new system. It's definitely a transitional stage because you can't keep going the way things are going 'cos no one's making any money and everybody's touring eight months a year and is going to have a nervous breakdown. (Yuki laughs) But there has to be some system where fans contribute to the band, and it seems cool, actually. I don't think we were reluctant to do it. We didn't want to seem like we were, I don't know, we didn't want to be opportunists about it or something.
Yuki: Right.
James: But actually, it worked out really well.
Yuki: It really did actually fund our tours, you know. We really couldn't have done the White Lies tour in England and this tour that we're on now, the acoustic tour without that Kickstarter fundraiser. So we're really grateful that there is that new format for us to connect with fans and have them support us. And I really have faith in music fans; I don't think that they don't want to support the music. It's just that I think that the way they support it is changing, and that's fine. We have to figure out a good way where we can communicate and work with both sides.
James: As long as it's easier to steal something than buy something, everyone's going to steal it. It's actually a lot less effort to steal.
Yuki: It's just harder when there's no stores for people to go to.

Do you plan on doing another acoustic tour?
Yuki: I think this is it. I mean, I...
James: In a few years.
Yuki: Yeah? Okay. Yeah, you're right. I don't want to say definitely, but this was, for now anyway, a one-time special deal. We're just surprised that people wanted to see it.
James: Every show's, well...
Yuki: Yeah, can't speak too soon.
James: Well, let's say every show has been good. One bad one.
Yuki: It happens.
James: It happens to the best of us.
Yuki: It happens. But...what was the question again?
James: Are we doing it again.
Yuki: Oh, are we doing it again? I don't know, I mean, ideally we'd like to incorporate some of the elements of what we did tonight into our regular show. To be able to have more dynamics, more nuances, more subtlety would be great to be able to just vary what we do is kind of our goal. But for now..
James: If we do it again, I'm growing a mustache again
Yuki: Oh fuck. (laughs)

Recently on Facebook, you posted that the show at Le Poisson Rouge in New York City was your favorite. Is there a particular reason for that, and what's the worst show?
James: The worst show is so...
Yuki: I like that you jumped to the negative first.
James: Last night was just a good vibe. I thought it's the best show we've ever done.
Yuki: I don't know what it was like for the audience, but for me and I guess I don't know for you or for the others, but for me, personally, it was just my favorite because it was a hometown crowd, for one. And it just felt special, and I don't know what else to say. I don't know how we sounded, but it just felt really great and the fans are just so loving.
James: It's very flattering to sell out a decent sized venue playing acoustic; it felt really good.
Yuki: The acoustic tour in general has been such a great way for us to connect with the audience and connect with our fans, and I'm just seeing how passionate and loyal our fans are. We love our fans so much. They've supported us for so long, for so many years, and I feel like this is a great way for us to have a more personal relationship with our fans.
James: Yeah, we actually talk to the audience.
Yuki: (laughs) Instead of just like (makes explosion sound) which is great, too. And that's fun, too.
James: We'll be back there.
Yuki: Oh yeah, we're not going to give that up just yet, but this is just another side of us, and I feel like it's nice to have that intimate, more personal setting. Oh, and our worst show ever, right? There's so many. I know...I know mine.
James: Go ahead.
Yuki: It was very early on; it was on Long Island and it was at a...
James: Puppet show.
Yuki: (laughs) Well, it was a Spinal Tap moment because there was a community play, and they were putting on Little Shop of Horrors, and they still had the backdrop, and the fucking talking plant on the stage.
James: It was our third or fourth show ever.
Yuki: And we had to play in front of that to really confused Long Island children.
James: We put a moratorium on Long Island shows.
Yuki: Yeah, we were like "okay, that's the end of that." I mean, there were other weird ones, for sure, like when we were in New Orleans and this trucker was like "y'all play Chinese rock and roll music?"
James: That show wasn't that bad.
Yuki: No it wasn't.
James: The show was kind of fun.
Yuki: Okay, I guess I just remember that I was kind of scared.
James: We're Chinese rock and roll!
Yuki: (laughs) Apparently! Apparently KC the truck driver in New Orleans thinks that we're Chinese rock and roll.

So what's next for Asobi Seksu?
James: Make a new record.
Yuki: Yeah, this is it for a while tourwise, and we're just going to go home and work on a new record.
James: A few gigs here and there.
Yuki: Yeah, we might go to Indonesia; that'd be cool.
James: That would be sick.
Yuki: We're just not going to say much about it and not going to think about it too much until it becomes official. Because I don't want to get excited and have it canceled. It happened already, it got canceled once.

Will the next album be a further exploration of the softer side of Asobi Seksu or a return to noisier roots? Both? Neither?
James: Both. We're ready to rock again a little bit. I got a little rock back in me.
Yuki: Apparently he has a little rock back in him. (laughs)

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll?
James: Yeah...
Yuki: Yeah, well, no no no.
James: Actually, we don't know what the hell we're going to do.
Yuki: No, well..
James: Tell the truth.
Yuki: The truth is...
James: We don't know.
Yuki: Okay, we don't know for sure, but we are ready to make some more noise. We are excited about textures and loud guitars.
James: All that stuff. Yeah, back on guitar.
Yuki: We're not going acoustic or anything.

So what hopes and goals do you have for the next decade?
James: I can't think about ten years, that's my answer. I can't think about that. I'm just trying to make the next record and see how that goes.
Yuki: I know. I'm not very good at looking past the next couple of days to be honest.
James: I want to get from this place that we just played to our hotel, being outside as little as possible. That's my goal.
Yuki: True, true. And not getting frostbite, that'd be good. And eating some food would be nice.
James: Eat some food quickly, get to the hotel.
Yuki: Yeah, those are our goals. Your goals have to be very small when you're in a band. Baby steps, baby steps. But it would be great if for the next ten years we could just continue to do this and tour.
James: Make music.
Yuki: Yeah, make music.

Photos from Asobi Seksu's show at Cafe 939's Red Room in Boston:

Adventurous Coachella 2010 Lineup Shatters Predictions

2010-01-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

With Jay-Z, Muse, and Gorillaz topping the bill, the 2010 edition of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival marks a departure from the recent model of a stadium-filling legend like Madonna, Prince, Roger Waters, or Paul McCartney on the bill to its youth-oriented roots. After having already headlined the largest festivals in Europe, Muse comes as a new and welcome addition to the short list of acts from the past decade that can actually headline a festival. Does anyone still question if Jay-Z, the biggest hip hop artist in the world, could or should headline a rock festival after he already silenced naysayers with his controversial headlining set at Glastonbury? Most surprising is Gorillaz, for their last tour consisted of multiple nights in New York and London, but nowhere else. Considering the probable logistical nightmare of securing a wide variety of special guests to join Damon Albarn and company on-stage, this just might be the only Gorillaz performance in the US this year. In any case, all eyes will be on Gorillaz on Sunday night, and nobody knows what to really expect.

The mid-tier of acts for the 2010 lineup appears to be larger and more diverse than ever. Recent breakthrough acts like LCD Soundsystem, Vampire Weekend, Phoenix, MGMT, Grizzly Bear, and She & Him are all playing, as are supergroup Them Crooked Vultures, Jack White's latest project The Dead Weather, and Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke's solo outing. If anyone can get away with touring a solo album four years after its release and demanding to be billed with four question marks attached to his name, it's Thom Yorke. Joining them are less contemporary surprises including disco legend Grace Jones in a rare performance, Echo & the Bunnymen, Devo, and Gary Numan.

If any festival is not about the headliners, it is Coachella, and this is more true than ever in 2010. Included in the lineup are several reunions and rare acts that are touring for the first time in years, or ever. The unfathomably-influential indie rock band Pavement and 2 Tone ska legends The Specials will be doing their first American reunion shows at Coachella, as will the recently reunited Faith No More, Public Image Limited, and Orbital. Most surprising is the presence of Sly and the Family Stone on the lineup. The genre-defining funk/soul legends are the kind of completely out-of-left-field surprise Goldenvoice is renowned for making happen and are the first Woodstock veterans to ever appear at Coachella.

Additionally, the Empire Polo Club will be host to the only 2010 performance of Fever Ray, the solo project of Swedish electronic duo The Knife's Karin Dreijer Andersson. Like The Knife, Fever Ray is another act that has done only a literal handful of performances in America, and getting her to come back for one last show is a major coup. Coachella also will feature the first festival performance from Charlotte Gainsbourg, as part of the first ever tour from the French actress and singer. Considering Gainsbourg's busy schedule with films, it would be unwise to expect another tour anytime soon, as she did not tour for her 2006 release 5:55, a collaboration with Air, Jarvis Cocker, Neil Hannon, and Nigel Godrich. Considering how Beck co-wrote and produced Gainsbourg's IRM and lives in Los Angeles, will he join her band on-stage? Other inspired bookings include electro dj supergroup Club 75, Sigur Rós frontman Jonsi, Richie Hawtin's Plastikman alias, and most randomly, DJ Lance Rock of Nickelodeon's Yo Gabba Gabba, a favorite among children and stoned adults.

This year's edition of Coachella offers top-notch talent from top to bottom and not only bring something for every type of music fan but also gives the opportunity to see acts that cannot be seen elsewhere. Will the absence of a boomer headliner affect attendance? How in the world will the set times allow everyone to see all those rare and unique acts, especially on Sunday? Can the city of Indio please allow the festival to run all night? Instead of attempting to predict the future, it is better to simply have faith in the most forward-thinking major festival in the US.

Stay tuned for future posts on which acts in the small print are not to missed and why.

My Top Songs of 2009

2009-12-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

25. Cold Cave - Heaven Was Full
24. Fever Ray - Seven
23. Phoenix - Lisztomania
22. The Decemberists - The Rake's Song
21. Mono - Follow the Map
20. Pocket (featuring Yuki Chikudate) - Sampo
19. Röyksopp - Tricky Tricky
18. The Bird and the Bee - What's in the Middle
17. Dirty Projectors - Two Doves
16. Akron/Family - River
15. Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings - Inspiration Information
14. Charlotte Gainsbourg - Heaven Can Wait
13. Metric - Sick Muse
12. Jarvis Cocker - You're in My Eyes (discosong)
11. Asobi Seksu - Layers
10. Emmy the Great - First Love
9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
8. Radiohead - These Are My Twisted Words
7. Portishead - Chase the Tear
6. Grizzly Bear - I Live With You
5. Bat for Lashes - Glass
4. Little Dragon - Feather
3. Animal Collective - Brother Sport
2. St. Vincent - Just the Same but Brand New
1. Sufjan Stevens - You Are the Blood

My Top Albums of the 00's

2009-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

50. Coldplay - Parachutes
49. Mogwai - Happy Songs for Happy People
48. Battles - Mirrored
47. Feist - Let It Die
46. Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna Are You the Destroyer?
45. LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
44. Islands - Return to the Sea
43. Modest Mouse - The Moon & Antarctica
42. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest
41. Asobi Seksu - Hush
40. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
39. Metric - Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?
38. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
37. Air - Talkie Walkie
36. Muse - Absolution
35. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
34. Bat for Lashes - Two Suns
33. Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
32. The White Stripes - Elephant
31. Deerhunter - Microcastle
30. Blonde Redhead - Melody Of Certain Damaged Lemons
29. Blonde Redhead - 23
28. Charlotte Gainsbourg - 5:55
27. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
26. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell
25. Radiohead - Amnesiac
24. Charlotte Gainsbourg - IRM
23. Scott Walker - The Drift
22. Blonde Redhead - Misery Is a Butterfly
21. Ladytron - Witching Hour
20. Tool - Lateralus
19. M83 - M83
18. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion
17. Cat Power - The Covers Record
16. The Strokes - Is This It?
15. Muse - Origin of Symmetry
14. Elliott Smith - From a Basement on the Hill
13. Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights
12. Jarvis Cocker - Jarvis
11. Beck - Sea Change
10. The Knife - Silent Shout
9. St. Vincent - Actor
8. Radiohead - In Rainbows
7. The Dresden Dolls - The Dresden Dolls
6. Pulp - We Love Life
5. Sigur Ros - ( )
4. Asobi Seksu - Citrus
3. Portishead - Third
2. Arcade Fire - Funeral
1. Radiohead - Kid A

My Top 25 Albums of 2009

2009-12-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

25. The Big Pink - A Brief History of Love
24. Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Know Better Learn Faster
23. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
22. Marissa Nadler - Little Hells
21. Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
20. Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
19. Akron/Family - Set 'Em Wild, Set 'Em Free
18. Royksopp - Junior
17. Cold Cave - Love Comes Close
16. The xx - The xx
15. Jarvis Cocker - Further Complications
14. Dirty Projectors - Bitte Orca
13. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz
12. Fever Ray - Fever Ray
11. The Bird and the Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future
10. Mono - Hymn To The Immortal Wind
9. Metric - Fantasies
8. Emmy the Great - First Love
7. Little Dragon - Machine Dreams
6. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest
5. Bat for Lashes - Two Suns
4. Asobi Seksu - Hush
3. Charlotte Gainsbourg - IRM
2. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion
1. St. Vincent - Actor

Top 25 Live Shows of 2009, #10-1

2009-12-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

10. Metric at Wiltern

After commanding the second stage to a massive crowd at last year's Coachella, the next natural step was clearly The Wiltern. At one point, Emily Haines listed off all the venues they had played in Los Angeles, from their days at the Silverlake Lounge to the present, and this progression of the band's history served as a perfect context to their Wiltern show. As Metric became bigger and bigger, their ability to mesmerize and rock the socks off the crowd has adjusted accordingly, and this night was no exception. With a performance as golden as Emily's sparkly dress, Metric kept the sold-out crowd of 2300 dancing and shouting along to a set that consisted almost entirely of their newest album Fantasies, and even included what Emily called their "Freebird": an acoustic singalong of "Live It Out", complete with singalongs and lighters, both real and digital, waving in the air. Was this arena rock moment foreshadowing a future where they fill such venues? Probably, so catch them now while you can still enjoy them with some degree of intimacy.

9. Bat for Lashes at Henry Fonda Theater

If a Bat for Lashes show had to be summed up in one word, it would be "magical." The whimsical weirdness of a backdrop of a wolf howling at the moon (to be replaced by a keyboard cat in 2010?), an other-worldly band playing instruments you didn't know existed, and Natasha Khan's overwhelmingly powerful voice that nails every note perfectly live even while dancing? All these elements combine to take the audience on an enchanting journey like no other. It also helps that the studio recordings are already intriguingly bewitching enough to do so.

8. Asobi Seksu at El Rey

Just as with their recorded material, Asobi Seksu is a force to be reckoned with live. As Yuki Chikudate's vocals soar, rather than getting lost in the wave of noise, one cannot help but to become completely entranced. In addition to being impressively gifted musicans, the band has a magnetic stage presence that is unique among their shoegaze and dream pop peers. Although Hush may be a departure from the wall of guitar noise, James Hanna still expertly works his guitar and pedals to flatten the crowd with reverb with the showmanship of a rockstar. Yuki, already having captivated the soul with her angelic melodies, captures the heart as she headbangs along to the beat, nonchalantly throws tambourines and bells to the ground, and takes over the drums and pounds them into oblivion at the end of their mini-holocaust of "Red Sea."

7. Leonard Cohen at Coachella

What else can be said that hasn't already? Leonard Cohen was a class act and he and his band and backup singers gave a perfect performance. Unfortunately, while singing "Hallelujah" with thousands of fans at dusk and surrounded by palm trees is a gorgeously spiritual experience second to none, with a discography as rich as Leonard Cohen's, one hour isn't nearly enough.

6. My Bloody Valentine at El Rey

Spirits were high at this last-minute Coachella warmup gig and how could they not be? Last year's reunion tour proved that the shoegaze gods are better than ever, and thankfully their show still felt fresh a year. Clearly My Bloody Valentine wants to feel, and not just emotionally but also physically. Their legendary "holocaust" at the end of "You Made Me Realise" is, in fact, as loud as everyone says, especially in a small theater with superb sound. The force unleashed by the speakers could be felt everywhere from the hair on the arms to the acid of the stomach. Hopefully it will not be another sixteen years before the next tour and that new material finally sees the light of day.

5. Neil Young at Glastonbury

Thanks to having never played during Glastonbury's 39-year existence and canceling a headlining set in '97, expectations were high for Neil Young's Glasto debut. Thankfully the legend did not disappoint. Young wowed the crowd with enough hits to please the crowd, while omitting enough to increase the desire to catch him again someday. He also peppered in enough extended versions and false endings and even destroyed his guitar strings at the end of "A Day in the Life", all without ever being an arena rock cliché. Hopefully some of the newer acts at the festival paid close attention to what it means to be a rock legend with dignity still intact.

4. Jarvis Cocker at Wiltern

As the legend took the stage busting some of his legendary dance moves and revealing his hands decorated Pan's Labyrinth-style and the crowd ate it up, his solo Los Angeles debut extinguished any remaining doubt that America is not ready for Jarvis Cocker. Sure, a lot of people might have been hoping for some Pulp songs, but everyone stayed to scream for a second encore that unfortunately never came. Nevertheless, everyone walked out of that theater properly entertained. And how can they not? Jarvis Cocker is the rare gifted performer who could read from the phone book and still be engaging.

3. St. Vincent at El Rey

With an album as richly layered and sweepingly orchestral as Actor, it is only natural to be curious as to how well the songs work in a live setting. Thankfully the talent and creativity of St. Vincent, a.k.a. Annie Clark, and her four-piece touring band not only pull off this seemingly impossible task but also go a step further and transform them, adding a new level of jaw-dropping intensity, so much that memories of "Just the Same but Brand New" are still haunting this reviewer over six months later. Clark's angelic, delicate voice serves as the perfect counter to her wicked guitar playing and watching her furiously shred and punch her guitar while jolting robotically is a spectacle in itself and a must-see.

2. Paul McCartney at Coachella

Paul McCartney is the perfect festival headliner. After all, how many acts have a back catalogue filled with a wide range of fan favorites and classic singalongs anywhere close to that of The Beatles? So why did it take so long for this to finally happen? Has he even played any other fests besides Glastonbury? What kind of acts would even be playing Coachella if it weren't for The Beatles? Would there even be a Coachella? In any case, hearing Sir Paul perform so many of the greatest songs ever written to a crowd of 60,000 people in the perfect environment for a production that included hundred-foot-high screens and fireworks was a magical time for all involved. Highlights of the two and a half hour set were not only the obvious favorites "Live and Let Die", "Helter Skelter", and "Hey Jude" but also the touching tributes to George ("Something" on a ukulele) and John ("A Day in the Life" into "Give Peace a Chance").

1. Blur @ Glastonbury

Glastonbury may not have been the site of the first Blur reunion gig, but it was definitely the emotional homecoming for the band. Blur's return to the Pyramid Arena proved that their music has aged remarkably well, thanks in part to a departure from Britpop and an exploration of other sounds, such as American indie rock, but also to the band themselves playing every song with the same energy that made them superstars over a decade ago. The truly legendary gigs tend to strike a chord with both the audience and the band, and in this case, the crowd instantly erupted into a frenetic mosh pit of positive vibes where people lost their inhibitions and pushed and sang along to the music out of love, not aggression or greed for a better spot, and hugged strangers out of sheer bliss. In response to the rapturous reception and the kind of perfect rapport between the crowd and band that comes only once every never, Damon eventually broke down and cried and Alex declared it "the best gig we've ever done." This reviewer experienced one of the most magical moments in his concert history as a group of people pulled him and other random strangers into a spontaneous arms-around-each-other circle and sang along at the top of their lungs to "Tender", which resurfaced during the encore breaks and again at the end of the night on the way back to the tent, a testament to the true power of live music.

Top 25 Live shows of 2009, #25-11

2009-12-02T15:30:00.000-08:00

25. Dan Black at Santo's Party House
24. Lily Allen at Glastonbury
23. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds at Glastonbury
22. Los Campesinos! at El Rey
21. Public Enemy at Coachella
20. Morrissey at Coachella
19. Glass Candy at FYF Fest
18. Yann Tiersen at El Rey
17. Ladytron at Henry Fonda Theater
16. Animal Collective at Wiltern
15. Bruce Springsteen at Glastonbury
14. Dirty Projectors at Jensen Rec Center
13. Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Glastonbury
12. Amanda Palmer at Coachella
11. Emmy the Great at Glastonbury

Review: Asobi Seksu - Rewolf

2009-11-23T19:25:00.000-08:00

A common element among many of the most compelling bands has always been the tendency to turn away from the sound that was known as their trademark, or that made them famous or acclaimed. Asobi Seksu is no exception. After the noisy, swirling guitars in the shoegaze masterpiece Citrus, 2009's Hush is a surprising, and successful movement away from the wall of reverb and distortion.

Recorded at the legendary Olympic Studios in London and previously released in the UK as Acoustic at Olympic Studios, Rewolf is another stop along the new direction. On these stripped-down, acoustic renditions of songs from all three albums, plus a stellar reworking of b-side "Breathe into Glass" and a cover of Hope Sandoval's "Suzanne", Rewolf highlights the band's penchant for richly gorgeous melodies. Like Hush before it, Rewolf serves as an opportunity to give a clearer emphasis on one aspect of Asobi Seksu that elevates the band past their contemporaries: Yuki Chikudate's voice. Ranging from powerfully soaring to delicately touching, Yuki's vocals stand out while at the same time complimenting the music as it is faithfully and creatively adapted for the unplugged instrumentation.

Like all good acoustic albums, Rewolf not only offers fans the opportunity to hear their favorite songs in a brand new way while still remaining true to what captured their fancy in the first place, but also gives new listeners a solid introduction to the band's discography that still drives them to check out the originals.

Purchase Rewolf on CD, white vinyl, or limited edition purple vinyl

Encouragement

2009-11-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

Positive feedback can really make one's day and be a strong source of motivation, especially when it comes from the co-organizer of Glastonbury.

editorinchimp is my twitter, by the way. Follow it today!

Want to See a Glastonbury 2010 Review?

2009-11-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Did you like my Glastonbury 2009 recap? Want to see one for next year? If so, click below to donate via paypal:

Am hoping to document everything in HD video, actually. But the biggest challenge is getting out there, and airline greed is keeping roundtrip flights from LAX to LHR at around $1300. I already have a festival ticket reserved, thankfully.

How I want to ring in the new year

2009-11-10T16:17:00.000-08:00

At Glastonbury this year, an area known as Arcadia wowed festival goers with its unique stage The After Burner and explosive fire shows. Well now you can see that crazy stage indoors? How?

NEW YEARS EVE @ MOTION

This new years eve Arcadia, Bugged Out & The Blast are putting on one of the biggest shows Bristol has ever seen.... 'The Greatest Show on Earth!!!' Using all of Motions existing rooms as well as another massive warehouse and a marquee in the car park to fit all the amazing acts and the AFTER BURNER INDOORS! This is truly going to be something to remember!!!

Lineup Including:

SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO
(DJ Set/ Wichita Recordings)

FRIENDLY FIRES
(DJ set/ XLRecordings)

RONI SIZE
& DYNAMITE
(Reprazent/ Bristol Legend)

RUSKO
(Mad Decent/ Sub Soldiers)

ALTERN8
(Old Skool Legends)

SETH TROXLER
(New school Detroit/ Moodgadget)

DEEPGROOVE
(Cocoon/ Play)

REDLIGHT
(aka Clipz/ Lobster Boy)

Any many more to be announced

Tickets on sale now from Bristol Ticket Shop

www.bristolticketshop.co.uk

Wish I could be there. Someone please bring this to America.

Donate to help Asobi Seksu enrich the world with music

2009-11-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

So Brooklyn's best will be touring the UK this month opening for White Lies, but this increased exposure comes at a great financial loss, as will their upcoming tour for their acoustic album ReWolf, because that will be in smaller-than-usual venues. It's not just a donation, however, you'll be getting prizes depending on what you donate. For a mere $50, you get a signed and personalized album of your choice, t-shirt, download of ReWolf, buttons, and a personalized thank you card...bargain! There are also creative gifts that would ordinarily be priceless: a shoutout before the song of your choice (is Freebird allowed?) for $200? Backstage access and Polaroids with the band, and a thank you in the liner notes of their next album (being recorded in March-April) for $250? For any aspiring musicians out there, why not spend a day in the recording studio and watch them work their magic for $2,500? And for someone of major baller status, you can get a private acoustic show for $5,000. Sadly, that someone is not me.

Glastonbury 2009: A Review from an Outsider and First-timer

2009-11-07T14:43:00.000-08:00

"Are you insane?" "You're crazy, I would never do that!" It is reactions like these that people give me upon hearing about my plans to not only go to Europe for a few weeks by myself but to attend Glastonbury alone. An American in Europe for the first time and flying solo is one thing, but the biggest, muddiest music festival in the world on a farm in the middle of nowhere in a strange land? It is understandable. The craving for the musical adventure of a lifetime easily overrides the basic need for common sense, and I go, armed with only a suitcase full of clothes, toiletries, a bunch of bananas, two gallons of water, peanut butter, my memories of the only other major festival I have attended (Coachella), and most importantly: a Moleskine and a pen, to ensure the preservation of thoughts, feelings, and experiences in what is sure to be the most sensory-overloading weekend ever.

Wednesday

Getting there is the hardest part, or half the battle, right? Either cliché works. So my day begins with an unsatisfying, but cheap, breakfast at my dumpy, but cheap, hostel near Piccadilly Circus. My journey to Glastonbury truly begins with me hauling my suitcase up and down several flights of stairs and escalators at three different London Underground stations before I see daylight again. Being a failboat captain, I forgot how to get to Victoria Coach Station, where I was to catch my overpriced bus to the festival. Being smart, I know to just follow anyone I saw with a massive bag on their back. A group of punters are surprised that an American was attending their festival. Why? At least ten percent of attendees of the Coachella Festival are overseas visitors. Another part of the mystery behind Glastonbury, I declare.

Form an orderly queue when Big Julie rules the world.

Once inside the coach station, I am greeted by a massive, messy queue. Seems the concept of single-file is nonexistent in England. Since all the coach tickets are sold out, National Express must know exactly how many people are coming, at what times, and therefore how many buses to have, yes? Just fill them up and send them on the way, right? While waiting to solve this mystery, I ask a group of girls that apparently look like clones of Bob Geldof’s daughters, whoever they are, whom they want to see and one of these acts is Will Young. Surely she meant Neil? Or does he have a son that also performs? Turns out this singer of no relation is a big deal across the pond.

After a ninety minute wait, I get onto a bus that is not a National Express coach, but had been hired to help with the demand. This coach leaves right at 1pm and is barely half full. Why so empty when so many people are still coachless? It is a matter of storage space: once the luggage hold is full, nobody else can get on the bus. One mystery solved.

Over five hours of smoking and looking at grass and I am allergic to both…

The drive to Glastonbury is dull and uneventful for the first few hours. I am stuck behind someone with offensive body odor and everybody is either talking to their traveling companions or sleeping. This humdrum ride is sorely missed once we run into our first traffic jam. We are close to the festival site, but are not moving. Traffic is to be expected, right? Not like this. For over five and a half hours, we endure the hell of not moving, going outside for smoking breaks, moving ten feet, not moving for another thirty minutes, moving another ten feet, and so on. Locals take advantage of our misery by selling grape drank and even beer at the side of the road. So it turns out our driver had taken a back road to avoid an accident that caused a jam on the apparent main path. However, once the accident had cleared, the police let everyone on the main road get through and not those that tried to do the right thing and stay out of the way. It is almost 10pm when the bus makes it through the festival gates and lets us out.

I (not pictured) have arrived.

Being a foreigner, I do not have my ticket in hand like everyone else. Instead I have to find the ticket office to collect mine. It is disappointing to see that my ticket does not have my photo printed onto it like all the others, just a sticker with my name. Fortunately, I stop caring once I am given my wristband and the first of much free swag: an official Glastonbury program magazine courtesy of Q, and a booklet of set times and photos and articles that can be worn around the neck, courtesy of The Guardian. Once inside, I am overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the site for the tenth time in the past hour, shrug it off, and grab a free tote bag from Oxfam. I haul my suitcase through dirt, rocks, and grass, with strange looks from other people before someone finally asks why I have a suitcase. I tell them and they are surprised I came from so far for this festival. Do Brits take Glasto for granted?

Forget what I said earlier about being smart; I am actually stupid. I find my way to Millet’s, one of the camping gear vendors on-site. Their cheapest double-skin tent, which is required to keep the rain off you and your possessions (and mine include an autographed Jarvis Cocker record), was £40, which converts to $872,234 American. I declare it to be a ripoff, buy a pair of wellies for £10, and storm off in search of a better deal. Two other camping gear vendors sell either more expensive double skin tents or only single skinned wastes of space.

So I decide to go find the efestivals camping group and leave my suitcase there, then go find a tent. This decision was yet another mistake, as I never found the group, only an overpopulated Pennard Hill, so I decide to bite the bullet and get the overpriced tent. However, the nearby Millie’s is already sold out and I am nowhere near the original stand. I am given completely inaccurate directions several times to get back to where I need to bite this proverbial bullet, and I decide it would be a better idea to just find my way back to the entrance and retrace my steps from there. This turns out to be yet another disaster, but by the grace of Xenu, a kind couple feels pity for me and offers to help me find Millet’s and even drags around my suitcase for me as I am highly agitated and two steps away from a nervous breakdown. Finally I have my tent and go to the nearest campground to pitch it: right by the John Peel tent, which is a blue and yellow circus tent that can’t hold more than two thousand people.

The view from my tent was nice, at least.

Don’t you love those days where every single pointless little thing that can go wrong does? Money problems? Check. Long, hot, sweaty, noisy queue for a bus? Check. Arriving at the festival over five hours late? Check. Wasting two hours wandering around in an absolutely futile search for a reasonably priced tent? Check. Not finding your camping group? Check. Your desired campground being completely full with no room for another soul, let alone space to drag around a suitcase? Check. A tent that includes the wrong directions and therefore takes two hours to pitch in the dark without any help? Check. Yes, my tent instructions were incorrect, and this is not an overreaction. The directions mentioned the tent porch, which it did not have, and also said to place the poles through the sleeve on the tent. The tent did not have such a sleeve, the separate, outer skin did. Then the tent itself is supposed to be awkwardly tied to this outer frame.

Worst. Tent. Ever.

For future reference, I make a note to myself to just spend the day before Glastonbury in Bristol and immediately arrive the minute the gates open somehow if I can ever make it to the festival again. It is the only way to get a central camping spot at Glastonbury. Despite the music not truly starting until Friday (some side stages were running on Thursday but I didn’t care to see any of it), nearly 100,000 attendees are in the gates by the end of Wednesday night. How so many people arrived so early when an accident caused such a major traffic jam is a mystery I know I will never solve and just assume that the laws of physics do not apply in this world away from the world. In any case, clearly most people do not take Glastonbury for granted if they care enough to arrive so early.

Thursday

Bank

After having wasted the entire first day of Glastonbury sitting in traffic, enduring tent and campground drama, and getting lost countless times, I awake with the feeling that it would all be smooth sailing from here. WROOOOOONNNG! No longer having a pound or pence on me, I immediately begin my quest for an ATM after a traumatic trip to the long drop. Why traumatic? Because the waste from all the stalls goes into one collective pit, and as you go, you can see the reflections of your neighbors in the sewage and if you’re lucky, your waste can be seen crashing into someone else’s mid-air. Fortunately there are cash machines near my tent, but unfortunately, they do not work with American cards. I ask for another place to get cash and find the same type of xenophobic machines. Someone at the information booth tells me to go all the way to the top of the farm and try my luck at the “bank.” So this is reason number one why Americans are a rare commodity at Glastonbury: the cash machines discriminate against us. At Coachella, in contrast, the machines are willing to absolutely rip off anyone with a bank account in any country in the world.

A church in which to get a marriage that is not actually legally valid.

A forty-five minute uphill stroll gets me to the top of the farm where I find the festival bank, which is just a few ATM’s inside a trailer. Thankfully, these actually work, so I make sure to withdraw more than I could possibly need so I don’t have to return. This is the moment where all the drama ends and the fun begins, so I pause to savor it while listening to some Marvin Gaye from a nearby breakfast tent, and move on.

Malk!

Now with Vitamin R!

I decide to make getting my first meal at Glastonbury my next priority, so I go looking for one of the two booths people on the efestivals forum always raved about. On the way, I get a pint of milk from a milk cart, which is surprisingly refreshing. And even more surprisingly, milk at a festival? I know the grounds are a giant farm, but it is still completely new to me.

Hot and Dishy?

The sky goes cloudy as I make my way to the Queen’s Head, where Maxïmo Park and other bands I do not know will be performing later in the day. It is here I stumble upon one of my two choices for lunch: La Grande Bouffe. I try two different kinds of French potato and opt for the creamier one to go with my sausage that simmered in a wine sauce and as I pay for what turns out to be a delicious meal, it starts to rain. Oh no, the raindrops, the raindrops (repeat twenty-three times), are here to turn the fields to a mud pit! While enjoying the best festival food I had ever tasted, I head back to my tent to get out of the rain. Along the way, I stop to grab my festival souvenirs: a shirt with a partial lineup on the back and a deck of cards. Official Glastonbury merchandise is surprisingly scarce: two shirt designs in multiple designs and undersizes (organic cotton also available), a couple hoodies, and the deck of cards. No $500 Emek posters, $30 messenger bags, limited edition shirts, merchandise from previous years, or even posters. Coachellians are totally spoiled when it comes to quality, but expensive, merchandise. My Glastonbury shirt costs a reasonable £13, and £4 for the cards.

Tasty times.

After a failed nap attempt in my tent, the rain ends, leaving the ground surprisingly free of mud. I begin to wish I had spent my £10 on something besides Wellies, but I throw them on and head out to explore the non-musical aspects of Glastonbury. People have been telling me for years that I could have the greatest weekend of my life at Glasto without watching a single band, and I just have to see if this is actually true. I grab a decent, but lukewarm strawberry and mango smoothie for £3 and head south to the Park area, which has a stage where Animal Collective and various surprise guests are to perform later in the weekend.

The Park

Upon arrival at the Park, I find myself instantly impressed. I am greeted with a sufficiently epic archway, gigantic wooden flowers, and a gigantic sand sculpture of Michael Eavis’ face. Unfortunately, the area is quite far from my tent and most of the other stages, so I resign myself to the fact that this is likely my only stop here the entire weekend. And how do I make the most of my time? Taking a nap, of course. All the stress and lack of sleep from the past two weeks began catching up to me at the worst possible time.

Hmmm, where to go?

Ribbon Tower.

While looking for shade, I see the Ribbon Tower, which is exactly as it sounds: a tower with ribbons hanging from the top. It is quite tempting to climb the tower and check out the view from the top, but a massive queue deflates my interest. Eventually I settle for a shaded area called the Stonebridge Bar. The festival grounds are actually scattered with bars all over the place, and is a refreshing change of pace from the American festivals because people have the option of leaving the shade and watching bands with a beer or four in hand. I imagine that Glastonbury would not have lasted very long if drinkers were forced to do so only in designated, fenced-in areas like at American festivals. Unfortunately, I cannot engage in this particular activity. To keep up with the theme of everything that can go wrong happening all at once to me, I began my vacation with a sinus infection and have been on antibiotics since arriving in London ten days prior. I debate skipping my medication so I can try some cider, but then I remember what happened both times in Prague when I did the same. Then I remember that cider costs around four times what a beer costs in a Czech restaurant and sigh sadly.

Michael Eavis is the king of Glastonbury.

While napping, I am told by security to scoot against the wall so nobody trips over me, despite there being dozens of square feet of empty space between me and anyone else. Shortly after falling asleep, I am awoken again by security questioning a girl sitting next to me because her ID “looks fake.” He then runs off with the questionable ID, and I ask the girl what bands she wants to see, and she lists Lady Gaga, to which I reply “are you sure you’re really nineteen?” The security guard never resurfaces, so Ms. Gaga for Gaga and her friend take off in search of him and the identification of questionable validity and that is the last I ever see of any of them. I wonder how difficult it would be for people to meet at a specific time and place at this festival, and imagine that running into someone you know would be highly unlikely, unless you know a lot of people.

Cider in a clown tent.

Feeling slightly refreshed, my next destination is the legendary stone circle. Unfortunately it is not the right time of day to enjoy a hippie drum circle, but the place still has incredibly positive energy. I relax and check out the view of the grounds from the circle and am reminded for the hundredth time that the sheer scale of this festival is overwhelming and I will never get to see everything. Accepting this bittersweet fact, I check out a nearby statue of a dragon.

Stone circle.

Rawr!

When pigs fly?

Breathe into glass/Run to my side/Dripping signs of life.

So much to see.

After having my fill of the view from the stone circle, I move on to the next area, which is the arts & crafts field. I cannot believe such a thing exists at a music festival and is so massive? Glassblowing, pottery, knitting, sewing, making jewelry; you name it, they have it. I wait for a few minutes to make a clay pot since it is one of the cheaper things available, but soon I realize that anything I make will just break in my suitcase on the way home, so I move on.

Fun for all ages.

Insert Amy Winehouse joke here.

Next I find myself in the Healing Field, which is full of tents offering a wide variety of services. Holistic healing of the body and mind is a popular theme, as are massages. One tent offers a gong bath for a fee, while another advertises itself as a witches’ coven. Since Glastonbury is a festival where everyone but me is drunk or high or both, it is only fitting to have a tent for 12 Step meetings. Disappointingly, I do not see anything that appears to be a front for Scientology. Not having money to spare, I do not take the bait and actually engage in any of the services offered. However, just walking around has some sort of healing effect on my mind and body.

How to get the world to stop making nukes? Doodle on underwear!

Flower Power!

After some brief time surrounded by various pleas for peace in the Green Futures field, I find myself in the area around the currently inactive Jazz World stage and notice that it is dinnertime. I go for a second helping of La Grande Bouffe since they have another booth that just happens to be next to me at the time. Finding a clean place to sit is difficult due to thousands of people sitting around drinking cider from the nearby Brothers Bar. Did I mention that the field is completely filled with empty cups and other rubbish? I realize that not being a disgusting litterbug is another futile gesture because the trash cans are overflowing and the recycling bins are filled with all sorts of things that do not belong.

Rubbish.

Avalon artwork.

After dinner, it begins to rain again. I run to the nearest vendor and am gouged for £4 for a cheap, flimsy poncho. This session of rain only lasts five minutes, but I get to observe the phenomenon of people cheering at thunder and lightning. Nature’s lasers are truly better than those inside a dance tent. Moving on, I hear Bob Marley being played over the soundsystem at the Jazz World stage and watch people dancing to it. Instead of joining them, I find my way to the Field of Avalon, where there are some art displays and a stage with nobody playing. Everyone runs inside the Avalon tent as it rains again, this time harder and longer, with wickedly loud thunder. It appears the thunder and the gypsy punk CD playing in the tent are attempting to out-obnoxious one another. Eventually, the lightning admits defeat and the skies clear just in time for sunset.

Glastonbury is known for having so many places to go and things to see and do, and one of the most infamous, and newest, areas is Trash City. I have been told it is a must-see party place with all sorts of insane art installations of the most interactive sort. Unfortunately, upon arrival, I am told that the area does not open until Friday at lunchtime. Trying to not be too disappointed, I move on to Arcadia.

Imagine this with fire, circus performers, fire, DJ’s, and more fire, but at night.

Apparently Arcadia started as something in the Trash City area but was so popular that somehow the laws of physics were defied and the powers that be gave it its own field for 2009. Unfortunately, daylight lasts far too long at Glastonbury, so Arcadia was not happening yet. I did see a field of promise, however, because it is scientifically impossible to go wrong with scrap turned into a futuristic play area with stages (one multi-leveled), pyrotechnics, and even a bar/50’s styled diner.

The Snake Pit: a den of sin in the Shangri-la.

As the sun finally begins the two-hour process of setting, I follow the path to the Shangri-la. Although night would not come for a couple hours, this place is already bumping. I immediately declare the Shangri-la as my new favorite area of Glastonbury, and how could I not? It’s like being in Blade Runner, and this impression is clearly intentional. I take a brief, uncomfortable shuffle down an overcrowded alley connecting clubs filled with dancing, games, alleged medicine, drum machines, and indecipherable and indescribable insanity. Possibly due to the sketchiness perfected at the Shangri-la, I suddenly remember all those urban legends about waking up in a tub of ice without a kidney or two. Or most likely, it was due to the sign advertising kidney and liver hire, proving you really can buy everything at Glastonbury: even your own recently harvested black market organs.

Dancer in the Snake Pit.

Club that required pajamas for entry.

Seeking some breathing room, I get in line to enter something called the Snake Pit. After a half hour of waiting, I discover that a tattoo is required for entry, but temporary body art was available for purchase. Being broke, I just walk in and nobody seems to notice or care. Only at Glastonbury is there entertainment for the queue: the window displaying pole dancers was situated directly next to everyone waiting for their tattoo. Did I mention one of the dancers was pregnant? Inside the Snake Pit, a DJ spins that which is perfect for a mix of dancing, chatting and drinking and not having to fully commit to any of them.

Shangri-la lazers.

Feeling too crowded, I walk outside and explore some more. I come across a building called Hotel Slumbarave-Metropolis, which looks even more delightfully decadent than the Snake Pit, but someone outside tells me pajamas or bathing suits are required for entry. Sad panda. In addition to the stages in the Snake Pit and probably many of the other little places in Shangri-la, there is a traditional stage called Club Dada, where a band that sounds like a less-whimsical Gogol Bordello is performing.

Silent Disco getting down to Wheatus.

After leaving the Shangri-la, my freshly lit festival flare draws the attention of my new friends for the night and I join them to check out the silent disco. One of them has connections and can get us all inside without having to wait in a long queue, it seems. On the way, we hear someone yelling repeatedly that Michael Jackson is dead. A girl walking next to me says that this is a false rumor that she started and he really just had a heart attack. Dismissing this rumor, one of my new friends and I agree to start a rumor the next day that Bono died from his private jet flipping over one, two, three, fourteen times.

Unfortunately, these silent disco connections do not exist and we are stuck outside waiting for a little while. Once inside, we are told that there are two DJ’s and to hit the switch on the headphones to select the one we want to hear. One DJ is doing the kind of set that the kids dance to at all the raves and festivals, while another is throwing down hit songs, especially cheesy ones, without really doing anything with them. Guess which one is more popular. Sure, singing along to “Girls & Boys” is a wonderful Glastonbury moment, but “Teenage Dirtbag?” Since the tent is so packed and I am awkwardly getting down like I have not since Daft Punk at Coachella 2006, I am soaked with sweat, which shorts out my headphones. Nobody wants to fix them or give me new ones without me leaving and getting back in queue, so I decide to call it a night. On the way back to my tent, I hear more people yelling about “Michael Jackson is dead!”, so I respond with “Tito Jackson’s career is dead!” Alarmingly, the same rumor debunker from before is somehow walking by me continuing to declare the news as a rumor.

Friday

A most dreadful sound awakes me early Friday morning: heavy rain. Being unable to fall back asleep without going to the bathroom, I foolishly put on my shoes instead of my wellies and hobble over to the nearby long drops while shivering like I have never shivered before as the wind and rain stab me repeatedly with microscopic icicles. After a brief slumber, I hear someone at the Peel tent telling Michael Jackson jokes. Are the rumors actually true? Throwing on my poncho, I muster the willpower to leave my tent to find out. I hear a few minutes of the first act to play in the Peel tent, General Fiasco, but am not impressed enough to watch their set because there is too much to do. Music? Forget that! Oh, and the field is a giant mud pit already.

Mud has arrived!

These boots are made for walking.

First on the agenda is getting a newspaper. Q releases a free newspaper three times during each Glastonbury and being a sucker for music memorabilia and souvenirs, I must have one. Inside the newspaper, Houston receives confirmation that the Michael Jackson has indeed passed. Before I had noticed that the mood was significantly more somber this morning and assigned the blame to the nasty weather, but now I get the feeling that the King of Pop is on everyone’s minds, including mine. Will Jarvis say something about his former nemesis?

Glastonbury food is better than other festival food. Or food in general.

Moving on to lunch, I score my first Growler of the weekend. The Growler is a legendary meal on the efestivals forum, and consists of a toasted baguette stuffed with fries/chips, bacon (British bacon is actually more like ham), and cheese, and it is sinfully delicious and well worth the inevitable carb coma. In the spirit of spending more money than I should, I take advantage of the services offered by Comfortable Crappers. For a fee of £2, or three passes for £5, one can answer the call of nature in a surprisingly clean portapotty. These crappers of dubious comfort apparently collect and separate human waste for later usage, as described on the information posted inside the stall, along with detailed information about why feces are brown and shaped the way they are. Gross.

In the spirit of giving, The Guardian has a booth set up where you can get a free tote/backpack hybrid for free with the purchase of one measly issue of their paper. Immediately taking advantage of their offer, I tuck away my new souvenirs in my broken backpack and head to the Chill & Charge tent. The long queue moves surprisingly fast and I only have to stay in the rain for a few minutes.

Even the recharge tent has a stage at Glastonbury.

Besides the obvious stage, Glastonbury’s recharge tent is fundamentally different from Coachella’s. In Glasto’s Chill & Charge, there are far fewer computers and the chargers are out in the open. Instead of leaving your phone to charge behind a counter, you find the table for your phone’s manufacturer and look for an available cord. The iPhone charge area has a massive queue, which unfortunately means no music for the ride home, but I am able to recharge my phone without a significant wait. While waiting for my phone to recharge and the rain to stop, a band whose name I forget almost instantly performs, and another one starts as I leave the tent to return to the most surreal place on earth.

N.E.R.D.

I arrive to the Pyramid stage area and settle for a spot at the back of a massive crowd that extends well beyond the rear speakers, and this crowd is enthusiastic for one of today’s “special guests”: N.E.R.D. In fact, they are so enthusiastic that there is a massive booing session when the band is unplugged (apparently they started late). I always treasure the moments when I see a band I am not particularly familiar with and find myself into it anyway, and N.E.R.D. gave me another such moment. While waiting for Fleet Foxes, a speaker over the PA tries to get people interested in the “no more nukes” cause, but it’s hearing songs like “Losing My Religion that make the wait bearable.

Fleet Foxes.

Fleet Foxes finally arrive on-stage and prove to be a perfect band for chilling at the back of the crowd. I am perfectly content kicking back on the grass enjoying those harmonies that are even more impressive live. Thank Xenu the powers that be booked them where and when people can actually see and hear them, unlike when they were drowned in sound by Thievery Corporation at Coachella. And speaking of Coachella, it feels a lot like Coachella whenever the sun peeks through the clouds, just not as hot. Direct sunlight equals frying, sweat, and sunburn, regardless of temperature, and I just realize I have forgotten my sunblock. Also, bugs are crawling all over my legs during a promising new Fleet Foxes song about sophomore slumps and diminished returns.

Lily Allen.

After Fleet Foxes, I have had enough of sitting in the back and summon the willpower to brave the mud pit to get a decent spot for Lily Allen. Walking through the crowd is a surprisingly painless procedure. People do not crowd as closely as they do at Coachella, but there are plenty of hazards to watch out for: deep mudpits with Wellie trophies proudly displayed, trash (very slippery on mud), bottles, AIDS needles, wasted people, etc. While playing rubbish hopscotch, “Dancer” plays over the PA and many people sing along completely devoid of irony.

Lily makes her grand entrance to the THX theme, and the audience is listening, indeed. Her set proves to be lots of fun, me being a sucker for catchy pop songs, singalongs, and cuteness. Lily is sporting a single glove as a tribute to the late King of Pop, and flashes a breast at the crowd as a tribute to his royal sister. Nipple tape keeps the incident SFW, and no, I did not see the third nipple. Since voters overseas can be as retarded as in the states, Lily dedicates “Fuck You” to the BNP.

Once Lily Allen finishes, I decide it is time to drink/eat/piss in preparation for Neil Young. Unfortunately it seems everyone else has the same idea. Leaving the Pyramid Stage from somewhere relatively close to the front traps me in an unbearably non-moving clusterfuck that tops any I had ever experienced. I am told that the exodus is worse than usual because everyone but me wants to go see Lady GaGa run around in ridiculous outfits under the guise of creativity on the Other Stage. While a crowd the size of all of Coachella’s is leaving the area, a significant crowd is pushing into it at the same time to see The Specials and Neil Young. One panic attack, two bruises, thirty minutes, and one hundred toe stomps later, I am finally out of the Pyramid arena and back at the Meal Machine, where I try the Big Dog, which is a Growler with sausage instead of bacon: good, but I prefer the Growler because bacon trumps all.

The Specials.

By the time I eat, get water and milk, use the creepy communal urinal, and walk back to the Pyramid, the Specials are well into their set. Never having been a fan, I am there to get a spot for Neil Young and there was nothing else at the time that I cared much to see, anyway. However, I find myself having fun watching their set while working my way up front. I make a note to myself to give their records another go when I return home, which is something every band that puts on a good live inspires.

Neil Young.

Thanks to my careful working of the crowd and the massive post-Specials beer/bathroom/other stage run, I am able to get twenty or so rows back in the center for Neil Young. Having never seen Neil but always wanted to, my anticipation and expectation levels are high. Fortunately, Neil does not disappoint. His voice sounds as good as ever, and he can really rock a crowd without resorting to the cheesiest of arena rock clichés (the extended “Rockin’ in the Free World” with several false endings is completely justified and fuck anyone that says otherwise). The legend gets as lost in the moment as me as his jacket slips off one arm and he does not bother fixing it or removing it: just taking all the other acts of the day to school. Unfortunately, his set ends too early at 11:50pm, leaving me wanting some “Southern Man” or “After the Gold Rush”, but I cannot complain when every minute of his set was brilliant. The ten minute versions of “Rockin’” and “Down by the River” (my new favorite Neil Young song) and a cover of “A Day in the Life” so good that it rivaled Paul McCartney’s performance of the song of songs at Coachella and destroyed the strings on his guitar, leaving Neil to finish his set with a couple notes on the vibraphone.

I am trapped in another clusterfuck following Neil’s set, and being completely drained, I head back to my tent for sleep, vowing to pace myself better the next day so I can check out Trash City. On my way to the tent, I hear Bloc Party closing their set and it’s already 12:30am, meaning it took forty minutes to get there after Neil Young, and it’s another ten minutes before I return to my tent and fall asleep with the realization that I have only met one Canadian and zero Americans over the past three days weighing on my thoughts.

Saturday

They sell everything at Glasto.

Both of nature’s alarm clocks wake me up at 6am on Saturday: freezing cold and the unbearable urge to piss. After taking care of the latter, I drift back to sleep only to wake up again at 9:30am to get dressed, packed, and ready for a long day of music and a long night of the unknown. My backpack’s second strap finally breaks and I have to repack everything into my Guardian tote bag, the straps of which seem to have been designed for children or small adults carrying nothing in the bag. For lunch, I grab another Growler, which is as delicious as the one yesterday, and after finding the new issue of the Glastonbury newspaper, I head to the Other Stage to grab some rail. Metric is playing at 1pm, and the next two hours cannot pass quickly enough.

The Other Stage is the second largest at Glastonbury and is comparable in size (stage and crowd) to the main stage at Coachella. Big bands play at night to help prevent the crowd from getting dangerously massive at the Pyramid, which is not a problem at Coachella. At Glastonbury, you will often find two headliner-caliber bands playing at the same time, with several other interesting bands playing the smaller stages at the same time, while at Coachella, the big names rarely clash and the painful conflicts are the undercard acts conflicting with each other or the main acts.

Broken Family Band

The first band of the day is Broken Family Band, an unfortunately unremarkable band that does not really earn the right to solicit cheesy audience participation or their animal masks. Once they finally finish, a girl asks if she can have my spot at the rail for Peter Bjorn & John, the next act, I say sure, but she and her friend need to stick around for Metric at some place in the crowd. I also wish I had slept in another hour because plenty of rail became available after Broken Family Band.

Peter Bjorn & John

Peter Bjorn & John do a solid, but not particularly memorable set. Perhaps seeing Lykke Li and Robyn performing with them at Coachella spoiled me or maybe it’s the underwhelming nature of the new album, but the set doesn’t do much for me besides provide adequate entertainment until I get to see Metric. There is a smaller than expected exodus following their set, and thankfully I arrived early because I would not have been able to get rail for Metric otherwise. Is Metric big here after all? Being deprived of rail when I saw Metric in LA a few weeks prior, despite arriving several hours early, had motivated me to make the effort to get up front for Metric, so here I am frying in the sun to do it. Thankfully security is giving out free cups of water to everyone up front that requests one. I thought corporate greed put an end to helping people not die? Guess not.

Metric.

Metric.

I am told that the big crowd around me is not there for Metric, sadly, but is camping out for Jason Mraz. Thankfully Metric always brings it live, regardless of venue and crowd familiarity, and despite this being my fifth time seeing them, it’s not the least bit tired. Unfortunately, since the girls and dragged boyfriends surrounding the front of the stage are just waiting for Jason Mraz, they look at me funny for going nuts in my own little world. I hope that Emily noticed the true fan going crazy up front while she was dancing around in the sparkly number from the “Sick Muse” video. The setlist consists almost entirely of songs from Fantasies, except for “Monster Hospital” and “Dead Disco”, the latter of which gets the mostly unfamiliar audience bumping.

Surrendering my rail for Jason Mrazians, I depart the Other Stage in search of batteries. The last of my AA’s died during Metric and I need some for the next act on my agenda: Emmy the Great. Having never seen Emmy, I am really looking forward to her set. A vendor sells me some overpriced generic batteries and as I walk to the Queen’s Head, I notice the ground is significantly dryer thanks to the sun being out and shining brightly all day. Sure, it’s still muddy on the main pathways, but the ground fine everywhere else. Wanting to get out of the sun, I duck inside the Queen’s Head tent and watch Peggy Sue & the Pirates.

Peggy Sue & the Pirates

Now that I’m inside the tent, I figure I might as well just stick around to get a good spot for Emmy the Great. Peggy Sue & the Pirates give a solid set that helps pass the time until Emmy, as does Fyfe Dangerfield (another secret act), but not so much Broken Records. All I feel during Broken Records is my freshly sunburned flesh. Sunburn at Glasto? It happens if you’re under the sun at high noon with no shade and no sunblock! Emmy the Great apparently has a loyal fanbase, since I am not the only person that camped out for a spot. Still, rail is available fifteen minutes before her set, just not in the center.

Fyfe Dangerfield

Unfortunately the pack of batteries I purchased turns out to be a complete waste of money. These things are so weak that my camera only turned on for long enough to take a photo thrice, and I was not able to adequately zoom or focus. Here I am ten feet away from the stage about to see Emmy the Great without a working camera. Sad panda. Sure, I knew generic batteries are crap when I bought them, but they are supposed to actually work, just for half as long.

Emmy the Great.

One question that has been in my mind all weekend is how someone armed with an acoustic guitar and unforgettable lyrics would translate in a festival setting, which remained unanswered when Emmy the Great took the stage because she brought a full band and two backup singers. Emmy truly lives up to her namesake as she performs songs from her debut First Love. So much, in fact, that I tell someone “more like Emmy the Incredible” in between songs, to which Emmy says “I like you!” And then she says that she likes my Animal Collective shirt (which had been purchased from a sketchy bootlegger for $5 a month prior during the best night ever) and asks if I saw them last night. As I am putting together a reply, Emmy gets back to playing, but sees that I am about to speak, to which I say “go on, I’ll tell you later.” Sadly, I never get to tell her that I had seen Animal Collective a month ago and had never seen Neil Young, which is why I missed them. But fortunately, my mini-sign requesting a setlist at the end of the set is acknowledged with an unprecedented level of class. Emmy grabs a couple setlists and picks and jumps down and hands me one, high-fives me, and stays to chat for a few minutes with us fans until security tells her to leave. And unfortunately, this is the absolute worst time to have a dead camera because no camera means no photo with Emmy. Sadder panda. She tells me that she will be performing again after midnight at some campfire at Arcadia and that she would love to play California again. She tells me she did one show last year at the Roxy, but I was not in town for it.

Emmy the Great setlist, which was not followed.

Don’t laugh, it worked.

Not Little Boots.

Wat.

Oriental?

Mushy peas look like vomit but are much better than their mushless relatives.

There are not many acts that I want to see playing until the end of the night, when Bruce Springsteen, Jarvis Cocker, Franz Ferdinand, 2 Many DJ’s, the second coming of Jesus, the second coming of Xenu, and The Smiths are all playing at the same time, so I set off to explore some of the countless acres of unseen festival grounds. First, I wash my hair and upper body in a nearby sink. It pays to carry around shampoo and shower gel at Glasto. Then I buy some real batteries and am raped for £7 for four measly batteries, which converts to around $12. Next I head back to Arcadia in search of this campfire so I know how to find it in the dark when it’s time to see Emmy the Great again. I just see the standard stage that has set times and the gigantic monstrosity in the middle of the field and decide it must be something that only goes at night.

Trash City.

Trash City.

Trash City.

Trash City.

Trash City.

Trash City

Robot in Trash City.

The Drag Strip.

NYC Downlow.

Being nighttime-only is the norm for things in Arcadia and this turns out to be true for Trash City, which is finally open. However, all the bars and clubs are closed until sunset. After another visit to Comfortable Crappers, I enjoy a dinner of fish and chips with mushy peas, which are second only to the ones I had in Brighton in terms of tastiness, and wash it down with a bottle of Tango, the only orange soda I have seen in Europe that wasn’t Fanta. Although Trash City is dead during the day, I can tell it will be nothing short of amazing at night and take advantage of the opportunity to photograph everything while there’s light.

Superheroes!

Deciding to see Bruce Springsteen instead of Jarvis Cocker was not an easy decision to make, but because I had just seen Jarvis twice the previous week and would again a month later, it made the most sense. So here I am with an hour and a half before the Boss and where am I? Back in the Chill & Charge tent. Loathing Kasabian, I do not want to work the crowd to get up front for the Boss and therefore be subjected to this rubbish band, plus my iPod still needs a charge. I only get about 30 minutes of charge time before I leave to finally see Bruce for the first time. At the outdoor communal urinal, lazy and disgusting excuses for human beings are refusing to wait five minutes in queue and just pissing all over the walls, creating another mud pit. Absolutely repulsive.

Bruce Springsteen from the very back.

Bruce Springsteen’s headlining set is the one that the British media has been obsessing over recently, but I went to the Pyramid with the assumption that it would not be a problem getting a decent spot shortly before show time because the crowd had been generally chill all weekend and that it was not New Jersey. Wrong again. I eventually give up on getting up front and just chill in the back on a small patch of litter-free ground using an extra newspaper as a seat.

What can be said about Springsteen that hasn’t already been said before countless times? He’s The Boss. People say that he plays to the back of the arena or stadium with legendary energy and passion, and this is true for a gigantic field of mud with twice as many people as Giants Stadium. Every song feels like an anthem, and the crowd is digging it, myself included (despite not knowing nearly every song). Sure, some people in the back are asking if he will play “Born in the USA” (he does not), but everyone’s having a good time, with the fans up front being absolutely nuts attempting to molest their Boss every time he comes to the rail to play or grab request signs. But when the big guns like “Born to Run”, “Dancing in the Dark”, and “Glory Days” are unveiled is when everyone collectively loses themselves to something bigger than any of us.

Trash City.

Being at the back of the crowd gives me the advantage of beating most people to the afterhours areas. Despite Bruce’s set not ending until 12:40am, and assuming I already missed Emmy the Great’s afterhours campfire set, I haul ass straight ahead. According to my map, if I go in a straight line from where I started running, I will find myself at Arcadia. Nope. Instead I am at the Queen’s Head again, well out of the way. So I make a ninety degree turn to the right and continue straight but somehow end up at the Queen’s Head again ten minutes later. Laws of time and space do not apply in this world of magic because science and the rational are heresy and that’s the way we likes it.

NYC Downlow.

Eventually I make it to Arcadia at 1:30ish and have clearly missed Emmy the Great, and never see the campfire. I hear that I just missed an amazing fire show, too. Moving on to trashier pastures, I finally go to Trash City at an appropriate time and holy monk is it crowded. But all the killer sculptures and buildings look even more impressive at night, and there is fire. Fire is cool, heh heh.

NYC Downlow.

I get in queue for a bar called NYC Downlow which looks even sleazier and sketchier at night from the outside, complete with trannies peeking out from a gigantic hole in the wall. Once I make it to the door, a drag queen charges me £2 for a fake mustache. This fauxstache falls off after five seconds and I stick it to the set times hanging around my neck. NYC Downlow is very dark and smoky and/or misty inside, so one could dance to the acid house being spun with relative anonymity and two bars are available to serve the refreshments necessary to do this. Thankfully NYC has an outdoors area in the back where people catch fresh air and wait in a thirty minute queue for a portapotty, both of which I need. Yet more interactive art is available for enjoyment in this back patio: a crazy gigantic kaleidoscope from ephemere phenomenon. In this kaleidoscope, you sit and stick your head through the bottom and at the opposite side someone puts on a show with their hands and lights that is reflected off the mirrors to a very overwhelming effect. Unfortunately, breathing while the air is cold fogs up the mirrors, but still impressive. I am informed that a much larger version will be at Fuji Rock this year.

Drag Strip.

Moving on, I depart the Downlow and get in queue for another bar called the Drag Strip, this one being of the “biker bar from Hell” variety, as opposed to “gay bar in the 80’s New York City.” Inside the Strip, two girls are performing on-stage in full-body animal costumes and they are singing along to “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Turn around, bright eyes, indeed. This is followed by humping to “Closer” and then stripping out of the animal suits to “Welcome to the Jungle.” The furries are followed by a bunch of people coming out for a brief dance number. Wow.

Wat.

Some interesting interactivity tucked away in the Shangri-la.

Shangri-la.

Wanting to end my night on a high note and my second wind having long passed, I decide to return to my tent. Unfortunately, this is no easy task. Not only is Trash City on the far end of the farm in relation to my tent, but also there is a bullshit circumstance beyond my control. Security is not letting anyone leave Trash City the way they came in. Instead I have to go through Shangri-la and Arcadia again along with a heavy flow of traffic. Going through the crowded alleys of Shangri-la one more time is exciting, but it’s so crowded and I’m exhausted so I don’t get to stick around for too long. It takes eighty minutes or so to go through all these areas again and then walk back to my tent well after 4am, where I instantly fall asleep without changing out of my shorts or even emptying my pockets.

Sunday

The antibiotics are ruining me. I have had to go to the bathroom at 2am, 4am, 6:30am, and now 9am. Getting a late start on the day, I stumble out of my tent saddened over the fact that this is the last day of Glastonbury. But on the bright side, Sunday easily has the best lineup of the weekend. So many bands to see and so little downtime. I do manage to get today’s newspaper and stumble upon the booth that sells band merchandise, finally. Surprisingly, no CD’s or records are available and only some bands have merchandise available, understandable due to the overwhelming number of acts performing over the weekend. I spy a really cool Bat for Lashes t-shirt but decide to save my money and buy one when I see her two months later in Hollywood. The blue milk carton Blur shirts are sold out, and what’s left isn’t too thrilling: the Best Of cover on the front with “2009 tour” on the back, and another shirt with the dog. I inquire about Emmy the Great merchandise, since I will never see any at another show, but am denied. I can’t haz merch.

We Have Band.

After a quick lunch I head to the John Peel tent for an extended stay. Not only is Emmy the Incredible doing another set, but another act that has done multiple sets throughout the weekend is performing and there is a lot of hype: We Have Band. The first band I see is Wave Machines, and unfortunately I forget to take any notes and their set is completely forgotten about after ten minutes. Next is We Have Band, a disco rock trio that won an emerging talent competition of some sort and therefore gets to play Glastonbury. Fortunately they are an engaging live act and live up to the hype.

Twisted Wheel.

After We Have Band, more people than usual stick around inside the tent. I am told that the next act, Twisted Wheel, opened for Oasis recently, so a lot of their fans are here to check them out. The crowd is wild for Twisted Wheel, and some of those legendary flags make their way inside the tent to obstruct the view of everyone behind them, making this the first time I see a flag in a small crowd the whole weekend. Flags litter the Pyramid arena all weekend, especially during the main acts, and also the Other Stage, but the tents? That’s a first. Twisted Wheel combine old school rock with post-punk rehashing into something I don’t care for, but clearly I am the only one since several crowd surfers fly over my head.

Emmy the Great.

Emmy the Great.

The John Peel tent has twenty feet between the rail and the stage, despite the tent itself not being very big. I estimate it to be equivalent in capacity to Coachella’s Mojave Tent, which holds a few thousand people, but wider and not as long. So because of this distance, none of the photos I am taking are turning out as well as the ones I could have taken yesterday in the more intimate Queen’s Head. Emmy the Great is just as impressive the second time around, and the longer set is much appreciated. She comes out wearing some sort of John Peel t-shirt and tells us where to buy them and it’s for some sort of charity, and then leaves the shirt hanging from the microphone for the rest of the set. Hopefully she will bust out “Two Steps Forward” if she ever plays America and I am there.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

After my extended stay in the tent of Peel, I grab some water for the next couple hours and head to the Healing Fields, but on the way I pass the Other Stage, where I hear Enter Shikari announce the next song as their last. Wait, what? According to the set times, their awful noise is not scheduled to end for another half hour. Canceling my plans, I work the crowd from the left side and once they finish their final musical abortion I am able to get in the second row for Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It turns out that most acts on the Other Stage had to start a half hour early because the original set times only allocated an hour for Bon Iver to play and to set up for the act following him. Oops. Thankfully I was in the right place at the right time, eh?

Conditions are quite miserable waiting for Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It had briefly rained during Enter Shikari, adding mugginess to the already hot and squishy overcrowded conditions up front. Everyone wants to get a good view of Karen O’s latest costume, and Karen makes it worth their while with an elaborate headdress made of hands. Some old school fans complain that her antics are not as crazy as they were back in the day now that she performs sober, but her voice sounds much better live nowadays. And she sure can wail that “AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT SSSSSTTTTAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!” Closing the set with “Date with the Night”, Karen and Nick smash their microphone and guitar together repeatedly until both are destroyed, resulting in a wonderful noise.

vs.

The Battle of the Tights Round 1: Karen O vs Natasha Khan.

Bat for Lashes.

Thankfully someone leaves the rail so I get something to lean on while waiting for Bat for Lashes. Before the set begins, my Coachella 2004 shirt attracts some attention as two girls behind me freak out over the lineup and express a desire to see Prince headline the Pyramid stage. A really drunk kid tells me that he would piss all over Glastonbury to attend Coachella and that it is his dream in life to attend. Also, that America has the greatest system of government in the world and that Britain does not have an actual constitution. He tells me these things several times while expressing his need to be on the rail to see Karen O, despite their set being long over. It turns out the couple next to me is from America. Finally! Other Americans!

This will be my first time seeing Bat for Lashes, and I have been listening to her/them a lot over recent months, especially while walking around in Prague, and I do not know what to expect from a live show. What I get is something truly amazing. Natasha’s voice is one of those rarities that is far more powerful live and her band contribute greatly to the hour of pure mesmerization. How often do we get to see a band use a timpani and a marxophone? Not nearly often enough. The crowd goes the most wild for “Daniel”, with guys in Karate Kid costumes sitting on shoulders like groupies flashing Bon Jovi. I consider stealing this costume idea for when I see BFL again.

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

It takes seventy-five minutes to leave the Other Stage, walk to the Healing Fields for one final visit to the pay portapotties, walk back to the area between the Pyramid and Other stages to get the final delicious Growler of the weekend (they hook me up with an extra loaded one this time because I like them so much), get some water, and get to the Pyramid stage for Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. I arrive just in time to hear the very end of “Red Right Hand”, the only Nick Cave song I know. Yes, that’s bad, but researching his discography got lost in the stressful shuffle of getting ready for a trip to Europe. I deeply regret this slip because he is yet another incredible live performer.

Apparently there is no shame in being a “that guy” at Glastonbury. Half the crowd during Nick Cave is sporting a Glastonbury 2009 shirt already, but this is understandable, because I already had run out of clean laundry thanks to the hostel screwing me out of detergent. Also, people love their rolling papers. However, a significant and large number of people in Europe actually use them for rolling cigarettes of tobacco, as opposed wacky tobaccy.

Once Nick Cave finishes, it becomes clear that plenty of people have been waiting it out for Blur. Fewer people than usual leave, but everyone is rushing the stage. This pre-Blur push is easily, and by far, the worst I have ever felt. Is this what it was like for the Rage Against the Machine reunion? Okay, that is probably an exaggeration but what do I know? I stayed in the very back of the crowd for that show.

Blur.

Finally, the big reunion of the weekend begins as Blur takes the stage ten minutes earlier than the other headliners. After the most rapturous reception I have heard all weekend, if not ever, the band launches into “She’s So High.” One minute into the set and it is already painfully obvious that the media have underestimated and underreported this reunion. A massive mosh pit breaks out for “Girls & Boys” that makes me fear for my life even more than when my midsection broke the fall of someone that some skinheads picked up and threw during The Mars Volta. But you know what? What a way to go.

Blur.

Blur breaks out all the hits and gems, from “Beetlebum” to “Trimm Trabb” and the crowd has clearly not forgotten about Blur during their hiatus: every song is a sing-along. The biggest singalong of the entire festival and my concert-going history turns out to be “Tender.” In a beautiful Glastonbury moment, a group of strangers pulls me into their circle and we all sway back and forth, arms around one another, singing along at the top of our lungs for the next ten minutes. Tender singing surfaces again as everyone does it during the encore breaks.

Blur.

Oasis versus Blur? How was that even a competition? Pulp versus Blur? Now that’s a cromulent matchup because unlike Oasis, Blur and Pulp actually matured and evolved as artists and did something besides recycle the same album of Beatles-esque stadium ballads over and over again. It was great the first two times, sure, but after 1995 everything was rubbish. Moving on…

Blur.

Once Blur’s legendary two hour set comes to a close, people still want to sing “Tender” and who can blame us? The march back to my tent is the saddest one I have ever had to make. The trip to the musical equivalent of Mecca has essentially come to a close. Sure, I can go to the party areas again, but I prefer to absorb and reflect on the memories gained over the weekend, especially Blur. Plus I am beyond exhausted and have to get up early to catch the bus back to London. It takes forever to vacate the Pyramid due to the usual traffic. One person has the brilliant idea of stripping completely naked, which forces everyone to run away and give him some breathing room. Eventually I find my tent and sleep for the last time at the most magical place on earth dreaming of one day returning.

Monday

“Do you see me? I’m in the twelfth queue from the right.”

Morning unfortunately comes and with it one last batch of rain: just enough to make the path back to the festival gates muddy. On my way out, I purchase a couple copies of Q’s special Glastonbury review issue. Yes, on the way out of the festival you can buy a magazine full of photos and information about everything you just saw. Sunday has limited coverage, obviously, but somehow a Blur photo made it to the presses in time. Very cool. I also purchase a copy of The Guardian, which comes with a gigantic pack of baby wipes, for yet another Glastonbury review. It’s unanimous: everyone says 2009 was the best Glastonbury ever. Michael Eavis says so every year, but it’s still apparently true. Is every year just simply better than the last? Probably.

Once the first 1pm coach back to London takes off, I look at the massive farm one last time and discuss everything I saw with the girl sitting next to me with a combination of excitement and longing. I already miss it. Glastonbury has proven to be a place like no other; often imitated, but never duplicated. There’s something for everyone here regardless of tastes or even age. Anyone can enjoy a favorite band of theirs, discover a new one, and most importantly, experience a whole weekend full of fun, magic, insanity, filth, spirituality, debauchery, whimsy, whatever you could possibly imagine and then some. Hell, even the laws of time, space and physics in general don’t apply. It’s almost as if Glastonbury is a sentient being with its own plans for each and every person, no matter how much you might resist.

I depart Pilton with a desire to return again as soon as possible that is so overwhelming, that it dwarves any and all anticipation and excitement I had before attending the first time. Glastonbury is something that cannot be truly comprehended with mere words, photos, or even movies. It is something that must be experienced, and then experienced again to do things differently and see that which was missed the last time, and again because it is never the same beast twice.

People always say the most unbelievable weekend of your life can be had without watching a single band since there’s so much going on at Glasto, and it’s so true. What would make an interesting read is if someone does just that someday and writes a full report. I question if I am that strong, but if anything could tear me away from worming my way up front for my favorite bands with ease, it would be all that Glastonbury has to offer.